Everyone has that friend who constantly gets hit on--even though she may not be the prettiest girl in the group. Whether that beeyatch (kidding...kind of) realizes it or not, she's using silent cues that men inherently have a hard time resisting.
"More than 50 percent of all communication is done via body language and gestures," explains body language expert Janine Driver. And, it doesn't take long to size someone up subconsciously. "A guy will decide within seven seconds of looking at you if he wants to talk to you." (You make the same snap judgment about him.)
The pressure may be on (especially with V-Day fast approaching and single gals are secretly holding out for a last-minute Valentine's date), but projecting an alluring image in that tiny window of time is actually pretty easy. Just use these wordless pick-up tricks, and any guy who is lucky enough to look your way will feel the sudden urge to say "hi." (And, you just may meet your date on February 14 this way!)
1. Dress to thrill.
- Even though stripes and patterns are in right now, single shades convey more power and trustworthiness: Solid colors equal a solid person. Unless you're rocking a tiny cocktail dress or other overtly sexy outfit, avoid going all black since it makes you look like a no-nonsense boss--yawn.
- A subtle adjustment of your clothing--we're talking straightening out a wrinkled skirt, not meticulously lint-brushing your entire outfit--shows guys that you want to look good for them, which boosts their ego.
- Yes, men find heels sexy. But, that stiletto is even sexier when it's dangling off your toes. A half-off shoe shows that you have a playful mindset, and you're not planning on going anywhere. But, if your legs are crossed when you do it (or anytime they're crossed, for that matter), make sure your top leg is the one farthest away from the guy you're into. Otherwise, he'll get the impression that you're closed off.
- For maximum man magnetism, show off your shoulders with a strapless dress or sleeveless shirt. Bare shoulders plant one thought in a dude's brain: boobs. And, as long as you're working your shoulders, shrug them forward ever so slightly when you meet a guy's gaze. It mimics the cradling of a baby, and while the mother of his children may not be what he's looking for at the club, his brain is still hardwired to be attracted to the gesture.
2. Kick back and relax.
- Lean on the bar with one arm so you don't look rigid or uncomfortable. The stiffer you stand, the more you look like you don't want to be bothered. And, while confidence is sexy, don't take it too far by standing with your hands on your hips. You may think you look like Wonder Woman, but without the hot pants, you just look unapproachable.
- You've heard the expression "looking down your nose at someone." Well, don't do it. In fact, lowering your chin slightly, so that you're looking up at people is extremely flirtatious and alluring. And, don't cross your ankles in front of you--it tells guys you'd rather be someplace else.
- Kinda shy? Stand in the middle of a group of people--you'll talk more and appear especially popular, which raises your status in his eyes.
3. Show off your vulnerable side.
- You know that dimple at the base of your neck? Avoid crew-neck tops, chunky necklaces, and scarves that cover it up. When a woman is extremely nervous, she will often cover her throat with her hand, because it's an extremely vulnerable part of the body. When you freely expose it, however, you are showing guys that you're completely comfortable with the situation and open to men's advances.
- Similarly, when you're holding a drink or a clutch, position your hands so that you expose your wrists to further convey that sense of trust. (Holding a drink with two hands makes you look closed off and uneasy.)
- A half-completed intimate gesture makes men want to finish it. Holding out your arms as if waiting for a hug would look really weird, but resting a hand halfway across a table or bar connotes a desire to grasp his hand. Of course, he won't actually reach out at this point, but he'll subconsciously be charmed.
- Leaving your purse between you and a guy subtly demonstrates that you're willing to allow him near something valuable to you. (While Freud said that a woman's purse represents her genitals, we simply believe that it contains all your makeup, and that stuff's freakin' expensive!).
4. Subtly beckon him over.
- Point your belly button toward whatever it is you're interested in. Instead of facing the bar, make sure it's pointed at a hot guy--ditto for your feet and knees. Their evolutionary purpose is to help you escape from predators, so if they're pointed toward the door, guys will sense that you are not exactly eager to chat.
- When there's eye contact happening, flash a knowing smirk. He'll either want to find out what you know, or think you recognize him and come over to ask where he knows you from. Alternatively, you can open your mouth a little bit (picture the way women look in romantic comedies when they see a hot guy for the first time). Your open mouth makes him think of...well, use your imagination.
- If your hands are in your lap or on a table, make a subtle okay sign with your index finger and thumb. While you aren't overtly saying you're available, this gesture can speak volumes. Believe it or not, guys will subconsciously think it's okay to come talk to you.
Sources: Psychiatrist Paul Dobransky, author of The Secret Psychology Of How We Fall In Love, and body language expert Janine Driver.