Beach sex is for sure something that everyone has on their sexual bucket list. It's probably up there with joining the Mile High Club or having a threesome, but is it really as good as it's cracked up to be? These 16 people share their real-life stories of sex on the beach and, let's be real, it's probably not going to look like it does in the movies.
- "Beach, rain, swimming pools...all sex that looks great on film but is kind of terrible in real life. Bathroom stalls in bars, that's where the real jam is." [via]
- "Sand gets every where. Even in places you never knew existed." [via]
- "Open a sleeping bag and go for it. Late at night is best for lots of reasons. Keep your sandy feet off the bag. Make sure your spot is as secluded as possible." [via]
- "No. A sandy clit is a feeling I wish with every fiber of my being I could forget." [via]
- "I was 19 and wanted to fulfil a 'fantasy' but it was cold, wet, and abrasive. One of the experiences that made me learn to stop chasing fantasies and have real sex, undistorted by living up to other people's overblown ideas." [via]
- "Sex is typically great anywhere, but sex on the beach presents its own special challenges. First off, if you aren't prepared and it's spur-of-the-moment (like, you don't have a towel/sheet to throw down), you are probably going to get sand in places where it's not great to have sand. The longer you are at it, the more likely some unpleasant 'paste' like substance is going to form. Also, in standard missionary male-on-top, the woman tends to sink deeper as the sand gives with each thrust—making traction and penetration increasingly ineffective.
"I would gather it's done on public beaches at night most of the time, so depending on the moon and road lighting (if there is any) it can get quite dark. Hopefully, no one else is around but it's very possible someone could trip over you both. But, hey, not really a big deal—the seclusion, darkness and waves crashing, along with the general taboo of it all, makes for a pretty hot time." [via]
- "Sand can definitely be an issue, but if the tide is gentle enough, moving to the water's edge, and having the lower body under the water is a pretty nice solution, and feeling the tide gently lap over the torso periodically is quite a pleasant feeling." [via]
- "No matter what you put down as a shield, there will be sand in places that no sand should ever be. Also, birds can be surprisingly judgmental. 0/10 would not recommend." [via]
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- "It can be fun, but if you're on the bottom, expect to be sore the next day. Sand is not as forgiving as a cushy mattress. My ass felt bruised after." [via]
- "Beach sex can be enjoyable, under a very specific set of circumstances: 1. You'll probably want to do it at night, unless you're into people watching or something. Oh, and watch out for people with flashlights looking for crabs and stuff. 2. You'll want to bring a towel. This is where I went wrong. The sex was still great, but the rug burn from the sand on my knees was pretty unpleasant.
"Speaking of on my knees, you'll probably want to keep your business elevated above the towel. Do it doggy style or risk sand in your crotch. 4. Pick the perfect beach. For example, the one we picked was nice and secluded, so no one would bother us, but there were crabs walking around everywhere and we had to use my phone as a flashlight to make sure we didn't accidentally step on any. Follow this code and you too can have enjoyable sex on the beach." [via]
- "Stick to the life guard tower if you're planning on having beach sex. Works best at night. Definitely one of my favorite places." [via]
- "I like it, just sit on a towel, or do it doggy. Not in the ocean, the salt burns. But at night under the stars? It's just outside sex, which is always great, but slightly different because the ground is squishy/sandy." [via]
- "One night, we were walking around at like 3:00 a.m. and decided to just chill and sit on the beach. Started making out, rolling around, etc, then the sex part happened. It is kinda hard to find a good position where the happy places aren't in danger of becoming buried in sand but I enjoyed it thoroughly. The next day I found I had a little bit of sand in some unmentionable places but other than that no complaints here. 10/10 would do it again." [via]
- "I don't understand what's so complicated. Grab a bottle of wine. Grab a towel, or if you two happen upon a beach and it's spontaneous take off your shirt and use that. Dude sits down on the shirt or towel, girl sits on the guy. Easy peasy. If it's after dark nobody can see or hear it anyway, and if they do, so what? They're on a beach after dark, what else happens on a beach after dark? Just have fun and live a little." [via]
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- "Only if you stand up. I've had sex on the beach MANY MANY times. Even with a blanket, it finds a way into your asshole." [via]
- "Like most new sexual experiences, it's a lot of fun if you prepare adequately. All these "sand in buttcrack" people were unprepared and/or don't know the joys of a detachable showerhead." [via]
- "Sure, if you like sand in your urethra." [via]
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com/uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.