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Dani Barretto On Dealing With An Absentee Father: 'Be the parent you've always wanted to have'

'If they don't want to be a part of your life, you can't force them.'
dani barretto
PHOTO: Instagram/danibarretto

There are two kinds of busy people: those who prefer to work in silence (i.e. me), and those who absolutely must have songs or a podcast playing in the background. If you're the latter, and you’re looking for new recs to tune into, look no further than Dani Barretto’s The Bare It All podcast, where she talks about a variety of topics—situationships, identity crisis, self-love and confidence—and her thoughts are utterly insightful to listen to.

She also takes into consideration the comments of her listeners, one of whom requested her to create an episode about one particular topic. “Hi Ms. Dan, can you make a podcast po about sa tatay na di nagpapaka-tatay sa anak niya at hindi siya proud na meron siyang anak? At gusto niya pa ito ipatago at mas magbigay oras pa po siya sa jowa niya,” wrote the anonymous letter sender.

Dani laughed it off, seemingly unwilling to draw insights from her own personal life as of current. “This is a territory I don’t wanna cross for many, many reasons,” she said.


She did proceed to offer a piece of advice from the heart, though. “Maybe, this father na tina-try mong itukoy dito, siguro hindi yun yung priority niya. Hindi niya priority magpaka-tatay. So ikaw, at the end of the day, you only have yourself. Whatever you're dealing with in your life, let’s say if it's a mom or a dad, if they don't want to be a part of your life, you can’t force them.”

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Despite dropping some ~truth bombs~, she urged the sender to live her best life. “Yun lang yun. If they want nothing to do with your life, ayaw mo rin na pinipilit mo yung sarili mo paulit-ulit kasi ikaw lang din naman masasaktan dun.

She added, “Parang for me, at this point in your life, just live your life. And by the time you become a parent, you just do things differently. You be the parent that you always wanted to have. So I think that’s, for me, the best opinion I can give in this matter.”

“It’s that wag mo na ipilit sarili mo sa mga tao na ayaw sayo, kahit pa nanay or tatay yan. Life goes on.”

ALSO READ: Julia Barretto Does *Not* Owe Her Dad Anything, Contrary To What Dennis Padilla Seems To Believe

Throughout the years, Dani has shared a tumultous father-daughter relationship with Kier Legaspi. Prior to her wedding, she made headlines after deciding to have only her mom Marjorie Barretto walk her down the aisle. "Everything that I am, it's all because of her. She is the most deserving to walk me down the aisle," she said in a vlog, implying a fallout with her father. "My mom really raised me well. Not that I never thought I needed him. Of course, at one point in my life, I thought I needed a dad. But kung wala diyan sa harap mo, hindi mo naman puwedeng damdamin 'yon. Life goes on," she added.


In 2020, she introduced her daughter Millie to her dad’s family, albeit Kier's absence. "My Legaspi family finally meeting Millie," she captioned. Spotted in the reunion were Dani's grandmother Hershey, her uncle Zoren Legaspi, aunt Carmina Villaroel, and twin cousins Mavy and Cassy Legaspi, among others.

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