Okay, for real. How can you be sure you're ready to date again after another "Let’s be friends..." chat that (*shocker*) ends with unfollowing each other on all social media platforms and never speaking again?
It's tough to be sure, but there are certain signs that prove you've made a breakup your bitch, and are, in fact, more than ready to start seeing other people again.
Below are six clues. If you can't check off more than half of them with an "eff yes" affirmation, you should remain in the grieving process and just focus on you while your heart finishes healing. But if you can confidently say "done and done" to a majority of these, then congrats! It's time to get back out there and date your cute butt off.
The idea of having someone else in your life warms your once cold (read: shivering) heart.
To be clear, this isn't referring to that effed-up advice to jump into bed with someone else right away (trust, that's not the best way to get over someone). But if you’ve actually sorted through all the phases of a breakup, and now find yourself daydreaming about your cute barista, and you're no longer tweeting posts like #datingistrash, then you are ready to have a plus one again.
You’re maybe, sort of, kind of, potentially excited by someone showing interest in you.
"Most of the time when women are going through a breakup, they’re not even noticing when someone is interested in them," says dating and relationship expert Lesley Edwards. Remember how easy it was just a short time ago to say, "Nah" to just about any person hitting you up? Then you'll know you've made real progress when there's been a shift from "Nah" to "Maybe," or even "Heck yes." In short, if the idea of entertaining someone else again doesn’t make you want to hurl, then you're good to go.
You get in your feels again.
No, not the bad kind; This is the butterflies, nerves, mushy-gushy good kind of feels. They may start off minimal, but if you’re getting ‘em in your tummy and maybe even some fireworks when you catch yourself flirting with someone, then consider these natural emotions as a clue that you're primed to get hot and bothered again by someone who's most definitely not your ex.
You’re reminiscing less.
"Instead of looking back in the past, your perspective is shifting more to the future," says Edwards.This means that you can finally listen to that Ariana Grande song without associating it with your ex. Life is seemingly better without your old boo, and your thoughts are seemingly moving on from them too, which is an excellent development.
Going literally anywhere alone doesn’t seem so bad.
It’s totally normal to feel lonely post-breakup, and you should definitely use that time to lean on your squad and fambam. But when you find yourself genuinely being able to do things independently by yourself—such as going for a walk in the park, hitting up a movie, or window shopping—without feeling anxious or like you're going to die alone, your head is in the right place.
You’re saying "Yes" more often than "No."
Not only are you saying "yes" to your friend who's been dying to set you up, you're also saying "yes" to just more in general. It's like you're awakening from the deep slumber that is breakup hell (we all know it), and now, you’re picking a night out with friends over staying in for
guzzling wine and crying to The Notebookself-care. This calls for a toast, because you, my friend, are ready to start dating again. Congrats!
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.