Sorry, no results were found for

We've Got *100* Flirty And Dirty Pickup Lines That Will Fill Up *Any* Convo

'You’re on my to-do list tonight.'
Top 100 Dirty Pickup Lines for Your S.O.
PHOTO: Dario Fernandez Ruz/Pexels
Featured

Even though pickup lines might give you flashbacks to cringy dating app convos, when properly executed, they can actually turn a conversation from boring to flirty in a matter of seconds. But what about if you want things to get a lil…spicy? Turns out, there are plenty of dirty pickup lines to filth up your banter and let your partner know it’s about to go down. And, uh, that maybe they’re about to go down too…

That’s the thing. While you likely know alllll about cheesy pickup lines (see: basically every dad joke ever), you might not know just how many raunchy pickup lines are out there to heat up your situation. These bbs can make your boring, everyday texts the stuff of erotic novels. They can get you instantly horny. They can launch you into a riveting sext convo. Hell, they can even secure a booty call with your boo, all with one simple text.

ADVERTISMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW ↓

It’s important to note, though, that these dirty pickup lines shouldn’t be used on just anyone. Sexts without consent isn't the move, so make sure to feel out your Tinder matches or any potential IRL meet-cutes before whipping out numbers one through 25. The rest? Reserve them for someone you’re already ~intimate~ with, whether it’s a long-term partner or a v flirty situationship. As with all pickup lines, you want to evaluate your recipient's type of humor before asking if they fell from heaven, etc. And the good news is that if these jokes are a little too extreme, there are pickup lines out there for pretty much every type of relationship, so don’t feel limited to just these.

If, however, you feel that your significant other would get a kick out of some seriously nasty jokes, you’re in luck. Ranked from tamest to almost-too-risqué-to-say, here are 100 dirty pickup lines to make it crystal clear that getting laid is a real possibility tonight.

ADVERTISMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW ↓

PG-Rated Dirty Pickup Lines

  1. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
  2. Aside from being extremely hot, what else do you do for a living?
  3. Did you escape from jail? Because it’s definitely illegal to look this good.
  4. You must be so tired from running through my mind all night.
  5. Is your name Chamomile? Because you look like a hot-tea.
  6. I feel like I’m getting a tan just standing here because you’re so scorching.
  7. Does my tongue taste funny to you?
  8. If you were a flower, you’d be a damn-delion.
  9. Does your name start with “C”? Because I can “C” us getting together tonight.
  10. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  11. Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging your look.
  12. Wanna help me get on Santa’s naughty list this year?
  13. You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My face.
  14. You look like a tall drink of water, and I’m parched.
  15. I called heaven asking for an angel, but I was hoping they’d send a devil like you instead.
  16. Do you feel sick? Because I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.
  17. I volunteer as your victim tonight since you're clearly dressed to kill.
  18. Your lips look lonely. How about I introduce them to mine?
  19. Toss me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.
  20. Are you the syllabus? Because I have been studying you like crazy.
  21. You’re so hot, you make the equator look like the North Pole.
  22. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  23. If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.
  24. I’ve been feeling a little lifeless lately—would you give me mouth-to-mouth?
  25. I watched a documentary that said lips are the most sensitive part of the body, wanna find out if that’s true?
ADVERTISMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW ↓

PG-13 Pickup Lines

  1. Nice pants. Can I talk you out of them?
  2. Let’s make a deal: I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
  3. Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good "Karma" Sutra positions we can try.
  4. Is your body a map? Because I love to travel.
  5. What’s a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
  6. You’re so sexy, my zipper is falling for you.
  7. I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.
  8. Wanna commit a sin for your next confession?
  9. Your belt looks really tight. Can I loosen it for you?
  10. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.
  11. You look great in that outfit, but I bet you’d look even better in your birthday suit.
  12. Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
  13. I’ve been super on top of things lately. Would you like to be one of them?
  14. Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
  15. Pretend I’m a pirate and give me that booty.
  16. Those jeans look really good on you, but you know what would look even better? Me.
  17. I can’t fall asleep by myself…can you sleep with me?
  18. I love your shirt, can I see what it's made from? *Checks tag* That’s what I thought, 100 percent hookup buddy material.
  19. Were your parents bakers? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
  20. I’ll flip a coin…whichever side it lands on is what you’ll get tonight.
  21. You have a great smile, but it would look even better if that’s all you were wearing.
  22. Do I know you from somewhere? I don’t think I recognize you with all your clothes on.
  23. Are those jeans from Guess? Because guess who wants to be inside them?
  24. If I buy you dinner, will you be dessert?
  25. There’s a big sale at my house right now—clothes are 100 percent off.
ADVERTISMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW ↓

R-Rated Pickup Lines

  1. Is that some Halloween candy in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  2. If I was a judge, I’d sentence you to my bed.
  3. What are you doing tonight besides me?
  4. I love your outfit. I would love it even more crumpled in a heap on my bedroom floor.
  5. Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cuming soon.
  6. I wish I was your phone, so you’d be on me all day.
  7. Roses are red. Violets are fine. I’ll be the 6, you be the 9.
  8. Are you a Slytherin? Because I really want you to slither into my Chamber of Secrets.
  9. Are you a light switch? Because you really turn me on.
  10. I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
  11. Are you butt-dialing me? Because I swear that ass is calling me.
  12. I’ve been trying to conserve more water…wanna shower together?
  13. I’m cold, can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
  14. Are you a woodchuck? Because I can totally see your wood.
  15. If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tonight.
  16. Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
  17. Want to go halfsies on making a baby?
  18. Are you my homework? Because I’m not doing you, even though I definitely should be.
  19. Are you an elevator? Because I want to go up and down on you.
  20. You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
  21. What time do you get off? Can I watch?
  22. Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
  23. I need a good place to think. Can I sit on your lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up?
  24. You’re on my to-do list tonight.
  25. Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.
ADVERTISMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW ↓

XXX Pickup Lines

  1. My nickname is dishes, because I want you to get me wet then do me.
  2. I’m really good at math, so let’s add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply.
  3. I’m an archaeologist. Do you have a large bone you’d like me to examine?
  4. My doctor told me I have a vitamin D deficiency. Want to go back to my place and fix that for me?
  5. I’m like a snowflake: beautiful, unique, and with one touch, you’ll feel how wet I am.
  6. Can you poke my belly button…from the inside?
  7. I’m training to be an astronaut, and my first mission is to explore Uranus.
  8. Would you kiss me in the rain? I want to get twice as wet.
  9. I’m so hungry for chicken, do you have any? No? What about cock?
  10. Let’s play carpenter so I can nail you.
  11. There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
  12. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK.
  13. Are your legs tired? Because as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.
  14. If you were a balloon, I’d totally blow you.
  15. I’d love to get on my knees and show you my best donut smile.
  16. I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
  17. Are you a firefighter? Because you make me hot and leave me wet.
  18. Please don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?
  19. If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
  20. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f*ck you on the floor.
  21. I’d love to kiss your luscious lips…and then the ones on your face.
  22. I’m a tortilla, I want you to flip me over and eat me out.
  23. That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
  24. I’m not really into watching sunsets, but I sure would love to watch you go down.
  25. If I were you, I’d have sex with me.
ADVERTISMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW ↓

***

This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

OUR GUIDES TO SURVIVING MODERN DATING:

Your Guide To Never Being Stuck In A Dry Texting Convo Again

Here's How You Can Have ~*More*~ Dating App Matches

10 Pinays Share The Dating App Conversations That Made Them Go, 'Ha?'

How To Flirt Online If You're Trying Dating Apps For The First Time

EXPLORE COSMO