In life, you're gonna come (or more accurately, not come) across some people who aren't quite getting it in bed—either they don't have much experience, picked up some bad porn moves, or are just doing whatever the person before you was into. To inoculate yourself against the anti-pleasure of someone diligently and cluelessly ramming their finger inside of you, here are some ways to get what you really want.
The Top Of The Class
No one likes getting constantly corrected in bed (...unless they do—see position #3) so teach some stealth woman-pleasin' skills by getting on top and propping a pillow under their head so they can really see what's going on. It lets them feel how deep/fast you like to go, plus they get an up-close look at exactly how you like to touch yourself with your hand or a toy.
Prop a mirror nearby and sit at the edge of the bed, with your partner sitting behind you. Drizzle some body safe oil/lotion down your chest. Put your hand over theirs and guide their hands slowly over your body and up your inner thighs, showing them exactly as you like to be touched. Reciprocate next time and you might learn something too.
The Yes, Dear Mistress
Bossing someone is not only just a hot power game, but it's also a solid way to get what you want, when you want it. Be a selfish mistress and command them to get between your legs, giving them very specific instructions. Go ahead and physically move their hands or head to get them where you need. Tell 'em they're going to be down there a while and they'd better do a good job. Taking on this personal works well if you're kind of shy about asking for what you want, worry about taking “too long,” feel weird about what kind of stimulation you crave, etc... If they please you, a nice “good boy” or “good girl” will suffice.
The Not-Quiet Game
Get naked and have your partner explore your body with their mouth, hands, toys, whatever body parts they've got going on. The rules: No words—you give feedback via whatever sounds and movements they elicit from you. (But yes, obviously, you talk this out beforehand to make sure everyone's on board). If you want to go even deeper, blindfold them, so they're even more attuned to how you're responding. This is another great one for reciprocation and learning your partner's body.
The Greatest Show On Earth
Woman up and just friggin' show them what you like. Get in the position you use when you're alone and let them watch, but not touch. Yes, it's super vulnerable and scary and you might think you look weird or whatever, but that's actually what's so good about it. If you can be your most raw, primitive, open self with someone, you are doing it right.