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Why The Face-Off Sex Position Is So Incredibly Hot

It may be simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
face-off sex position

The face-off sex position isn’t necessarily the most physically difficult, but emotionally, it’s an advanced move. “Face-to-face sex is a great way to build emotional intimacy and feelings of closeness. The increased eye contact that comes from having sex face-to-face also boosts your oxytocin levels. That’s the ‘love’ chemical associated with bonding, trust, and relationship-building,” says Jodie Milton, women’s relationship and sex coach at Practical Intimacy.

Sooo…once you get up there and start staring deeply into each other’s eyes, biological stuff starts activating and you’re gonna be bonding hard with that person regardless of how jerky/not jerky they are IRL. So make sure you’re gazing at someone decent.

How to do it:

One partner sits at the edge of a bed, sofa, or chair, legs spread slightly, feet on the ground. The other climbs onto that partner’s lap, facing them. They can either be on their knees to straddle the other or sit on them with their legs wrapped around their partner’s hips.


To get some friction happening, you can grind against each other, use your hands to stroke each other, they can thrust up for penetration, or you can roll your hips up, down, and around their penis or strap-on. Make out, press against them, stroke their face and chest, and/or wrap your arms around them and pull them close. Take the connection deeper by gazing into each other’s eyes.

How to make it incredible—or at least not completely awkward:

If you kinda forgot how to be with other people during the past year and a half—that’s completely legit.

“Just about everyone I know struggles with post-pandemic in-person interactions,” says Anya Laeta, a somatic sex and relationship coach. “So be patient and pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there. There is no rush, no boxes to check, just engage on a level that feels fun, exciting, and pleasurable. Slow down; make sure you feel relaxed, comfortable in your skin, and connected to your partner.”

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Make it as intimate as you can handle.

“Sex is supposed to be fun, so don’t make the mistake of thinking being face-to-face has to be serious,” says Milton. “Let yourself smile, laugh, and giggle. And just because you’re face-to-face doesn’t mean it’s a staring contest. You can of course close your eyes or look away in the throes of pleasure.”

Mind your clit.

“Keeping the clitoris involved is always a good idea, whether that’s by grinding, using your hand, or bringing in a sex toy,” says Milton.

Be realistic.

“Don’t go in with high expectations of, ‘All right, we’re going to have 60 minutes of face-to-face sex, go!’” says Jackie Golob, MS, a sex therapist and mental health counselor. “Check in with your partner in the moment.”

Your weekly reminder: “Sex” is way more than penetration.

Mutual masturbation (where you’re both touching yourself) face-to-face can be intimate, pleasurable, and super hot,” says Milton.


Figure out how much eye contact (if any) y’all can handle.

“Face-to-face sex can be a stressful situation—it’s important to be aware of your partner’s preference: eye contact, no eye contact, or a bit of eye contact,” says ADHD and sex educator Catie Osborn, cohost of Infinite Quest. This can be especially crucial if you and/or your partner are neurodivergent or have trauma or intimacy issues. “As a person with ADHD, I do enjoy eye contact in that it makes me feel closer and more intimate with my partner (regardless of gender), but intense and sustained eye contact is pretty stressful.” To figure out what might work, talk with your partner and negotiate boundaries. If you want to take a break, fucking do it! You get to have the sex you want.

Go deeper, if you dare.

“If you want to get really vulnerable, keep your eyes open and demand or request the gaze of your partner remain on you,” says Court Vox, a sex and intimacy consultant (I can personally vouch for his wonderfulness). “Examples might look like, ‘Look at me,’ ‘Give me your eyes,’ or just ‘Eyes.’ It is a reminder and a cue to stay present and aware—no room for making shopping lists here.”



“Use language to stay present. Leave the typical porn speak at the door and concentrate on describing to your partner how they feel to you, like, ‘You feel so wet and open,’ ‘I can feel your cock flexing inside me,’” says Vox. (I TOLD you he was good.) “Stay rooted in what’s real for you in the moment.”


This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.