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The Kind Of Paasa He Is, Based On His Zodiac Sign

Are you the Whirlwind-Romancing Paasa or the Paasa Who Lingers?
PHOTO: istockphoto

Aries: The Whirlwind-Romancing Paasa

The Aries man gets into relationships the way he gets into everything else: hard and fast. A go-getter both in life and in love, he will wine, dine, and dump you in record time. Everything will happen so quickly, you’ll be left wondering what you said to turn him off or if there were someone else in the picture. If you really want to know, go on and ask him; at least you can be sure he’ll be frank about it because, TBH, he doesn’t care about your feelings that much.

Taurus: The Paasa Who Lingers

Good news: This sweet and sensitive fella isn’t the type to be cold and callous if he’s no longer interested in you. Bad news: Since he’s way too nice, he’ll stick around and haunt you by putting hearts on all your posts and viewing all your Insta Stories—all while never taking it to the DMs, which will confuse the crap out of you.

Gemini: The Pambansang Flirt Paasa

The fun and charismatic Gemini is a heartbreaker with a capital H, a master at forming quick yet shallow connections which he can’t seem to make up his mind about. While he’s flirting the pants off of you, he’s probably doing the same to some other similarly smitten girl, so try not to fall for it when he holds your hands and looks into your eyes like you’re the only woman in the world. Oh, you did? Poor you.

Cancer: The Self-Preserving Paasa

This soft-hearted honey feels things so deeply that when he senses that a connection is going south, he will retreat into his cave to protect his fragile feels rather than face the issue head-on. Still a dick move no matter how nice or well-intentioned he is, but hey, at least you can comfort yourself by thinking, “It’s not me, it’s him?”

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Leo: The User-Friendly Paasa

With his “ME, ME, ME” mantra, if a Leo wants something for himself, he will get it—even if it means taking advantage of someone who has feelings for him. If he suddenly slides into your DMs after six months of radio silence, don’t read too much into it. He probably just found out you had started working at his dream company and wanted a way in, too. Charming, right?

Virgo: The Calculating Paasa

The perfectionist Virgo will pass on you not because you’re not a great girl—you are, promise!—but because he deliberately weighed the pros and cons and decided that you simply weren’t the right fit. He’s not the type to go all tender in the name of love, so the bluntness of his rejection will feel like a slap in the face. Good news, though: If you’re done going after the wrong guys and getting your heart broken all the damn time, he’s your go-to guy for pointers.

Libra: The Looks-Obsessed Paasa

The luxury-seeking, beauty-appreciating Libra is all about appearances—even in his romantic choices. Expect him to go after the prettiest girls, because having one cling to his arm makes him look good, too. If he blows hot and cold with you, consider the possibility that maybe it’s because he just doesn’t think you’re attractive enough. Which is stupid, because who does he think he is, fellow Libra Zac F*cking Efron?!

Scorpio: The Mysterious Paasa

Who knows what’s really going on in the Scorpio’s vulnerable, secretive soul? He could have decided to write you off because he wasn’t over his ex, or because you said you loved dogs and he was a cat person. Just be glad he ditched you at the paasa phase and didn’t administer a full-blown breakup on you, because Scorpios can be telenovela-villain-level cruel. In an effort to protect themselves, of course. But still: CRUEL.

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Sagittarius: The Paasa Most Likely To Leave Without A Second Glance

If you’re dating a Sag, prepare to be ghosted without even a “See you later!” text, because he has a million other places to be than at your cramped apartment doing a Netflix binge. He’ll do it so carelessly, you’ll wonder if you imagined all that mad chemistry to begin with. In his mind, he’s thinking, “What’s one cute, nice-enough girl in the grand scheme of ALL THE ADVENTURES LIFE HAS TO OFFER? Answer: NOTHING.” (Sorry, cute, nice-enough girl.)

Capricorn: The Values-Guided Paasa

We don’t blame you for wanting to date the Cap—he’s a solid, straight-as-an-arrow bet you could definitely bring home to mom. Here’s the problem: YOU might not be good enough for the life of purpose and straight-arrow-ness he envisions for himself. He values connections way too much to just drop you like a hot potato, but if you’re waiting for him to suddenly have a change of heart and ask you to run away with him, you’ll be waiting forever. And a half.

Aquarius: The “Commitment? What’s That?” Paasa

You may be smitten by the exciting, free-spirited Aquarian, but LOL, good luck trying to pin him down. He isn’t out there trying to lock down love like it was the sole reason for his existence, so of course you’d think he was a heartless sack of shit for bolting from your life soon after hooking up with you. Try not to be too hurt if you hear he’s seeing someone new—it’s just the way this commitment-averse guy rolls.

Pisces: The Drama-Allergic Paasa

Go on and lap up all the early declarations of affection from one of the most romantic signs in the zodiac, because once this dude realizes that you’re not the girl of his rose-colored dreams after all, he’ll pull a Houdini on you. It’s not because he’s cruel; on the contrary, the Piscean man is one of the most empathetic men you’ll ever date. However, he doesn’t want to get caught in a drama-filled, tear-stained face-off with you, so he’ll just slink wordlessly away and hope you won’t hate him forever. Peace?

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