There’s a now-famous Sex and the City episode where Charlotte tries *really* hard not to be attracted to her divorce lawyer, Harry, who, as we all know, ends up being The One. Prior to their happily ever after, however, Charlotte tells her best friend (Anthony) about her impromptu rendezvous: “I don’t know what happened. I don’t even like him.”
And Anthony replied, “So? Some of the best sex I’ve had [are] with people I can’t stand!”
We’re here to tell you that hate sex is REAL. While we’re not talking about the kind of hate that makes you want to put a curse on someone’s family tree, it still involves fucking someone you find unattractive, irritating, disgusting, or offensive.
According to sexologist Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, “Sex and love are two distinct experiences and processes. We've created a culture in which sex and love are supposed to go together, and one cannot exist without the other. But a lot of times, they don't.”
On top of that, we’re not all turned on by the same things or behaviors. Some of those fetishes can fall outside the realm of what’s currently considered the norm. Jesse Kahn, the director of The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Collective told Refinery 29, “You see this a lot in more kink and BDSM cultures. Some people in that community have eroticized something we've kind of been told not to like—like pain—and have actually found pleasure between it.”
So the next time you become turned on by some fuccboi who was rude to you, as long as you’re not in a dangerous situation, it’s totally okay!
Source: Refinery 29
Follow Ysa on Instagram.