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How To Deal When You Don't Like Your Friend's Boyfriend

Love is (making your friend) blind.

1. At first, just let it slide. If your friend and her beau have just gotten together and you don’t know him well enough yet, now is not the time to be bashing his character. So he was less than enthusiastic the day he was first introduced to the gang. Maybe it was an off day for him; maybe he got his ass handed to him at work or maybe his dog died. Cut the dude some slack.

2. Figure out if your opinion really matters. If you and your girlfriend have been tight since you two were in diapers, then you have a reason to be concerned about the guy she’s dating. But if you’ve shared nothing more than a few laughs at the office pantry, it’s best to hold your tongue. A snarky remark against her boyfriend could strain the already flimsy office pantry-level friendship you have.

3. Ask yourself—honestly—why you don't like the guy. Maybe you just miss your friend because you two were total Siamese twins before she started shacking up with the new bae. Maybe you're jealous because you’re still single, and now you have no one to scream Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” with at the karaoke anymore. Or maybe you have the hots for her dude and want him for yourself, in which case OMG YOU ARE AN AWFUL FRIEND AND YOU SHOULD BE STONED.


4. Be tolerant of the little things. So the guy’s habit of wearing socks with sandals is driving you up the wall. Remember that guy you dated with the terrible dad jokes? Nobody in the barkada enjoyed cringing to those jokes, but they put up with them anyway because you were so goo-goo-eyed for him.

5. Find out what your friend likes about her S.O. Fact is, you just don't know the boyfie that well—certainly not as well as your friend does. She likely saw something in him that you haven't had the chance to discover in the few casual interactions you’ve had. So ask her what she digs about him, how the relationship is going, how he makes her happy. What you hear might be enough to convince you not to stand in the way of ~tRuE lOvE~.

6. If you learn something about the guy or the relationship that's a real red flag, speak up. And by red flag, we don’t mean his crap sense of style. Say you find out that he’s been fooling around with another chick, or that he tends to get abusive when angry. Or when you notice that your friend is changing for the worse—bailing on her friends, letting the guy push her around, letting other areas of her life suffer—that’s when you should say something.

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7. Be careful what you say and how you say it. Once you do confront your friend, speak from a place of genuine concern, being as sensitive and supportive as possible. Try not to sound like you’re attacking her and her guy, which might backfire and get you dumped as friend instead. #FriendshipOver

8. Whatever your friend decides, respect her choice. Whether she stays with or ditches her man, you’ve done your part as a true pal by speaking up. Go ahead, pat yourself on the back.

9. If, after everything, you still can't stand the guy, just be civil. And maybe only hang out with him when there are other people around. THANK GOD FOR BUFFERS.

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