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How To Deal With A *Kuripot* Partner, According To Pinays

kuripot boyfriend, kuripot partner
PHOTO: Mikhail Nilov/Pexels

We’re all for equality and empowerment, and a lot of us have moved on from the concept that men should be “sole providers.” One of those little things that show these nowadays is when women don’t mind splitting the check for a dinner date or paying some of the expenses at home. But, there’s a difference between fairly dividing expenses and one of you being too stingy or kuripot.

So much drama can arise from being in a relationship with a cheapskate. Sure, it’s important to be mindful of finances, but constantly scrimping on expenses can become a burden for the other and lead to frustration and resentment. So, we asked a few Pinays to share their personal experiences and tips on how to deal with a kuripot partner:

How To Deal With A Kuripot Partner

The Situation: You don’t know how to bring up the problem.

The Solution: Find the right timing and have an open and honest conversation.

No matter what stage of the relationship, there’s one thing that will keep it alive or kill it quickly: communication (or the lack thereof). Money will always be a delicate topic between any two people. But for partners, it’s a Band-Aid you constantly have to rip off because not doing so will lead to several problems.

Of course, as with any sensitive issue, you need to bring up the subject at the right time—not during a heated discussion, when someone is hangry, and other circumstances that will just spark arguments. You could set a date and set expectations that you want to talk about something serious. Be sure to open the conversation in way that won’t be offensive to your partner.


"I sat down with my partner and explained that I wanted to go out more and do things with him, but I felt like his hesitation to spend money was holding us back,” shares Jamie. With things returning to normal, she wanted to explore more activities and places with her partner. However, it was difficult to save up for everything all the time. “I told him that I really just wanted to go bonding with him and try new things because we’ve been stuck at home for so long! He said sorry that he didn’t think of it that way before. He promised to make it up to me and we agreed to set aside a certain amount each month for dates and activities."

The Situation: You don’t know why they’re being so cheap!

The Solution: Again, talk about it—don’t be judgmental!

Make an effort to understand their mindset before jumping to conclusions. They may have had past experiences that led to their behaviors like difficult financial situations at home or previous overspending problems. They might be trying their best to handle money better, and it just comes off as being cheap.  

Pat shares, "I learned that my partner is kuripot because he grew up in a family where money was really tight. They struggled paying rent, tuition fees, and other bills.” She also tells us how they talked about this when they were already months into the relationship. It’s one of the things you know during those random deep heart-to-heart talks you have when you’re with someone you’re really comfortable with. “So now, he's still kuripot kasi it’s not just for himself, but for his future family as well."

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The Situation: The “50:50 everything” thing just doesn’t work for you.

The Solution: Find a compromise and set a budget together.

In some extreme cases, partners split everything 50:50—house bills, groceries, dates, even delivery fees or home supplies. Married couples might even have just one bank account for both necessities and luxuries. This means when someone wants to splurge, the other will definitely know, and the couple’s total budget will be affected. Is it fair? Mostly. It can work for a few people, but you can just imagine how much of hassle it can be for others.

Budgeting together is one way to avoid conflict over money. This allows you to set limits on how much money is available for spending and what are the priority things to spend on. A budgeting app, spreadsheet, or good old pen-and-paper methods can help you manage expenses and stay on track.

This is a tip coming from Mylene. “My husband and I have one joint account for bills and savings, where we put in an equal amount. Hati kami sa lahat ng weekly, monthly, and annual bills. Then, we have separate accounts for our individual shopping budget, other expenses, and savings.” Another respondent, Leah, also shares, “We listed pros and cons, and then we did money tracking.”Make sure you both agree on the budgeting method, the amount you’ll be sharing, and other details.

The Situation: Your partner is kuripot only when it comes to “wants.”

The Solution: Be creative in budgeting for your luxuries.


Let’s say, you reached a compromise, but you eventually start wanting more things. Maybe you want to invest more on self-care. Maybe you want to share more money with your family to help them with expenses. Maybe you eventually start living beyond your means. If restructuring your budget won’t work, why not just find a way to have more extra funds?

“Earn more para ‘di ka ma-stress,” advises Marie. She shares that she makes it a point to find and maintain side-hustles, so she can save up for travel and other non-necessities. Aside from extra gigs, you might also want to assess if you need to work for a promotion or maybe explore higher-paying roles elsewhere. Don’t pressure your partner to afford your lifestyle change if you can make adjustments yourself.

Some people might also be hesitant to spend on non-essentials because they grew up that way. They might not realize that they’re not enjoying their hard-earned money anymore. If such is the case with your partner, you might want to “lead by example.” Essentially, show your partner how spending on yourself brings you joy, so he can do the same and treat himself every once in a while.

The Situation: Your partner is not budging.

The Solution: Respect each other’s limits.

We all have boundaries. Think about these: Are you willing to look past the cheapskate tendencies? Is your partner being reasonable or is he stingy to a fault? Does he hold your extra spending over your head and humiliate you with it? Have you patiently tried to address the situation but ended up disappointed?

Sadly, when thinking about these, you might realize that the relationship is already toxic, and it might be time to cut ties unless you both arrive at a compromise. But in other cases, you can agree on your budgets and respect each other’s limits. In the best scenarios, you may even grow together and conquer your financial goals as a couple.

In some cases, it might be a good idea to get expert help—it could be a financial consultant or even a relationship counselor. Again, be sure to communicate with each other and find the best solutions to your kuripot problems.

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