Whatever your feelings are about New Age-y spirituality, the Law of Attraction argues that you can actually think something into existence if you want it badly enough—that you can manifest whatever you put your mind and energy to. Maybe you’ve read The Secret, Rhonda Byrne’s best-selling book about the law of attraction, or you’ve come across videos of spiritual influencers teaching you exactly how to manifest your dream job, apartment, or partner on your TikTok For You page. (Raises hand.) So even if you’re not totally sold on the power of manifestation, you can’t argue that it isn’t having ~a moment~.
“Manifestation is the practice of working with the universe to draw out a desired outcome through a set intention,” says psychic diviner and certified Reiki practitioner Amber Finney. “You’re working with the power of your mind, the power of your actions, and the power of connecting to spirit to turn a thought into a tangible reality.” Maybe for you, manifesting looks like taking a sound you imagined and turning it into a song you play in your mind, like a mantra. Or maybe it’s as simple as envisioning what your dream life looks like, then working to turn it into a reality, says mindset and manifestation coach Samantha Chung.
You can manifest anything from a job offer to a bowl of spaghetti bolognese (yum), but today, we’re going to talk about manifesting romantic love in your life. We spoke to spiritual experts for step-by-step instructions on what to do, how long it takes, and how to know if your manifestation is working.
So how do you manifest love?
There are several different ways to manifest love into your life, but one common method is through a love manifestation ritual. These rituals can be performed whenever and wherever, but according to astrologer and certified Reiki practitioner Jasmin Alejandrez-Prasad, the best times to perform them are on Fridays (“as Fridays are ruled by Venus, the planet of love, romance and relationships”) at night time (“because the moon creates safety, stability, and harmony in love relationships”). Here’s what to do:
1. Write a letter of intention
First, get clear on what it is you want from your ideal partner. Who is this person? What qualities do they have? You’re then going to outline these wants in a letter—or petition—of intention. Be as specific as possible, down to physical attractiveness and finances, says Finney. (You can even include the name of a specific person if you’d like.) And don’t feel guilty for asking for what you want.
“When someone asks you to get specific, there might be some guilt that arises because it can feel shallow to ask for those things, but you’re just claiming what you want,” says Finney. “Besides, the universe may be bringing that connection to you, but if it’s not packaged the way that you were clear about, you might miss out on your manifestation.”
Keep your letter clear and concise, and maybe even end it with a phrase along the lines of, “Manifesting outcomes of my highest good and the highest good of all involved,” says Alejandrez-Prasad.
2. Visualize it
After you’ve written your letter of intention, you’re going to want to visualize it. “Visualize yourself doing the things you would enjoy or appreciate in a relationship with a soulmate or that specific person of interest,” says Alejandrez-Prasad. “Visualize their name, their image and send them good intentions—send out some healing energy of love to them, [mentally] encouraging them that there’s no pressure and that you’re not rushing the process because it has already been achieved spiritually.”
3. Send your message into the universe
Once you’re done visualizing, send your message out into the universe. Create an altar space for your letter and light a pink candle, "as pink is used for self love, love, and Venus-based rituals in candle work," says Alejandrez-Prasad. “Get a plain, unscented candle for this. Put your letter near or under the candle, but do not burn the paper. Light this candle daily until it completely burns and keep your letter there until your person or relationship manifests." Before placing your letter at the altar, fold it three times towards you, as that’s how you call the energy in, says Finney.
You can also incorporate spell work, another tool used in manifestation, by working with different elements in nature that help call in beauty and love, explains Finney. You can anoint your candle with herbs that embody these energies by sprinkling them into the melted wax, like rose, cinnamon, catnip, forest root, and orange. You can drink tea, like hibiscus or passion flower, or eat a spoonful of honey. “Honey is used to attract and sweeten up rituals—this will help you invoke the energy of attraction, desire and sensuality,” explains Alejandrez-Prasad.
Working with crystals like Rose Quartz (“a love stone that opens your heart and makes you more receptive to love”), Malachite (“also used for heart opening, as well as cultivating healthy relationships”), and Lepidolite (“for those that have trauma and need healing; it can also help with anxiety around manifesting”), can also help strengthen your manifestation, explains Finney.
4. Embody your list
The final (and perhaps hardest) step is to embody your list of desires. “Everything you want from this person, give it to yourself,” says Chung. “This is how we can become a magnet to attract someone with the qualities we desire.”
You know how people say the most important relationship you can ever have is the one you have with yourself? Well, this is that very concept in action. Essentially, once you can give yourself the things you wish a partner could give you, you’ll attract the love you deserve.
“When we vibrate at the frequency of love, we become very attractive to others. The most attractive and beneficial thing you can do in order to manifest love is really just walk around and feel like you’re already in this ideal relationship—you already have the love that you’re wanting—and that’s a guarantee that it will come running to you,” says Chung.
How long does it take to manifest love?
I know it’s frustrating, but there’s really no set timeline on when you’ll receive who or what you’re manifesting.
“When we’re working with the universe and other spiritual realms, time does not exist. So when I’m doing my readings, I always preface that you might be calling on something that you may not see for a few years,” says Finney. “When it comes to manifestation, it’s really just divine timing.” Alejandrez-Prasad adds that the ideal relationship you’re manifesting, “can happen incredibly fast or not at all, but it’s certainly possible.”
Additionally, Chung says you have to be willing to dissolve any limiting beliefs so that you can support the reality of your manifestation. “That person can walk into your life tomorrow, but it won’t matter unless you believe yourself worthy enough to support that reality.”
What are some signs your love manifestation is coming through?
Our experts said you’ll know that your dream partner is on their way or is already here because you’ll start to notice synchronicities (meaningful coincidences) in your everyday life, like…
- You’re constantly seeing their birthday, name or something specifically connected to them in the world around you. “This confirms that the energy is set in motion and coming into the Earthly realm,” says Alejandrez-Prasad.
- You feel an instant attraction to someone you’ve just met.
- You feel a gravitational pull towards someone. “You can’t stop thinking about them, maybe you’re even dreaming about them or having déjà vu,” says Finney.
- You’re seeing certain angel numbers. For example, 222 is often seen as a message of love—a sign to form a deep bond or work to make something last.
- It’s just a feeling. “You might start to feel like something is changing, especially for most intuitives like me, I sense things are coming before they even happen,” says Finney.
At the end of the day, Chung says that if you’re wondering, Is this a sign? about something that feels different, it most likely is.
And how do you know you manifested what you wanted?
And more importantly, how do you know if it’s right for you?
When you feel like “you no longer have to compromise who you are,” says Chung. “There’s no longer any trying to justify, edit, or make a disclaimer about yourself to the other person—you’re able to be your full, authentic self in this reality.”
If the person you’ve manifested is right for you, you won’t have to question the relationship or second-guess yourself. You won’t need to ask yourself, Is this person right for me? anymore because intuitively you’ll already know that the answer is yes.
Ultimately, manifestation is a powerful tool that can help you attract the things you want, but remember: It’s up to you to seek them out, and part of manifestation is believing that you deserve good things—that you deserve love and happiness in your life. Because PSA: You totally do. Once you’re able to embody what you’re trying to attract—whether that’s self love when you want love from others, confidence when you want to do well at work, or healthy habits when you want to feel good—you’ll find what you’re looking for.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.\
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