Um, can you imagine how much we’d all get done if we didn’t waste so much time trying to come up with the perfect Instagram captions? Personally, I would’ve written 12 novels by now. But as anyone with an Instagram knows, there's no greater challenge than coming up with the perfect four- to five-word sentence to complement that pic you're posting—and TBH, the couple pictures are the biggest stressors of them all.
Whether it be a hi-meet-my-new-boyfriend pic, a pic with your long-term S.O., or a zoomed in snapshot of that pretty lil ring you newly have on your left hand, it can feel legit impossible to come up with captions for couple pictures that aren't super basic. (If I see another influencer gush about getting to date their "best friend," I'm throwing my phone out the window).
Of course, the stage you're at in your relationship also makes a difference in the sort of caption you should go with. Luckily for you, we've come up with a list of captions to choose from based on where you're at in your relationship. Read along and never bug your group chat with this BS again.
You guys aren't official, but it's a super cute pic and you really want to post it…
Okay, I'm just going to tell it like it is here: We have got to make sure this caption is flawless before you go ahead and post this puppy. The key here is to play it as cool as humanly possible with a totally neutral caption that in no way, shape, or form implies that you're in a relationship with the person. Try something like:
- "[emojis describing what you did, i.e beers if you were drinking, or disco dancer if you were dancing]"
- "Thought I looked cute, probs won't delete later"
- "Great day [describe what you were doing]"
- "Do I look fantastic here or what"
- "Peep the [funny thing going on in the background]"
You guys aren't official, but they just so happen to be in your group pic…
Ugh, you took a super cute group pic but they just so happen to be standing next to you in it. You really want to post it, but you also don't want to make it seem like you're trying to post a pic with them in it (although, let's be real, you low-key are). The key with this caption is to really focus on the group or the event you guys were all at:
- "Good times with good friends"
- "So much fun celebrating [write what you were celebrating here]!"
- "[Insert inside joke from the day here]"
- "Are we not the best-looking group of people you've ever seen in your entire life?"
- "Clique game strong"
This is your first pic since becoming official…
Wahoo! Time to piss off your exes across the globe by letting them all know that you are officially off the market. I like to think of this picture as an engagement announcement with, like, way lower stakes. This caption is your chance to announce to the world that you are officially off the market, so go with something like this:
- "SORRY PPL, I'M TAKEN"
- "[insert any sort of heart emoji here]"
- "I guess I'll keep [him/her] a while."
- "Don't hate hanging out with [him/her]."
- "Wait, did you guys hear I got a [boyfriend/girlfriend]?"
It's their birthday…
You're allowed to get a little mushy here, it's their birthday! They deserve to get a little extra loving from you. If you want to write a long heartfelt essay, you can totally do that. Or you can convey your love in a more simple way with one of these:
- "HBD to maybe the best human to ever grace this Earth."
- "Happy Birthday to my favorite human! ILY."
- "Happy Birthday [name]! Thank you for [whatever they do that makes your life better]. Don't know what I'd do without you. xo"
- "Happy birthday to the most [adjective that describes them and relates to the pic you chose] boyfriend/girlfriend in the world! I'm the luckiest person on the planet to get to be with you."
It's your anniversary…
The key here is to be mushy without being cliché. You can do a little recap of why you fell in love in the first place, what you did on your first date, etc. Try one of these captions to show how much you love them without making people legit vomit on their phones:
- "Happy Anniversary, [name]! Here's to [# of years you've been together] more years of you putting up with my [insert super annoying thing you do—like, saying you're not hungry but then eating all of their French fries]."
- "Can't believe it's been [# of years] since [describe your first date/kiss/whatever your marking this from]. Love you so much."
- "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY [name]! There's truly nobody I'd rather do life with."
- "[# of years] down with my favorite person!"
You've had a lot of date events lately and this is, like, the 500th pic you're posting with them…
I've run into this problem many times, so I get it. Maybe it's wedding season. Maybe you're in college and the two of you have just been hitting a lot of frat formals recently. Maybe you guys just happen to keep taking friggin' fire pics. Whatever the case, you're worried about boring your followers with another picture of you and your partner. Here are some captions that'll spice it up:
- "Did you miss us?"
- "Hey! It's us again!"
- "Another day, another date event."
- "I don't WANT to spam your feed with pics of us, but what am I supposed to do when we look this good?"
- "Like for me, comment for [partner's name]"
- "I mean, who else would I be with?"
This is your first picture since breaking up and getting back together…
So you hit a little bump in the road? Who doesn't? Re-introducing an ex to your feed can be awkward, but these captions can help smooth over the transition:
- "We back!"
- "Can’t fight a love like ours, I guess."
- "Your fave real-life Ross/Rachel are back at it."
- "Yes, we're back together."
- "Back in action"
- "Don't call it a comeback, we've been here for years."
Everyone's placing bets on when you're getting engaged…
You guys have gotten super serious (congrats!) and you know people are just waiting for that engagement pic. But, alas, you still don't have a ring on your finger. Luckily, your predicament makes for some pretty hilarious caption ideas:
- "Nope, still not engaged."
- "Calm down mom, we're still not engaged."
- "No ring, no prob"
- "Promise the next post will be an engagement pic"
- "Here's another pic of [name] and I still not engaged"
You just got engaged…
First of all, congrats! Happy for you! Okay, now that we've gotten those niceties out of the way, let's get down to business and help you come up with a caption worthy of announcing this joyous news:
- "I said yes!"
- "I said no! JK."
- "Ah, so excited to spend the rest of my life with you [name]!"
- "Today, was quite possibly the best day of my life. Love you [name]!"
- "Huh, looks like I actually AM marriage material after all. (big s/o to all my exes)"
You just got married…
Listen, I get it. Summarizing the best day of your life in a caption can be hard, but there are some timeless captions you can always count on:
- "[Date you got married]"
- "I officially pulled it off, you guys."
- "I got to marry the absolute love of my life on [date]. So, yes, I'm officially the happiest person on Earth."
- "Yeah, our wedding day was fun, but every day's a party when I'm with you [tag bride/groom]."
- "Cheers to the first of many wedding pictures I'll 100 percent be spamming your feed with."
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.