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I Watched Netflix's Hottest Sex Scenes To *Test* If They Could Make Me Orgasm

Here's how my masturbating marathon went down.
PHOTO: LIAM DANIEL/NETFLIX
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I don't mean to brag, but I'm what you'd call a masturbation connoisseur. With close to thirty years of experience, I know the ins and outs (literally) of getting myself off. Typically, I have a whole set-up, with a selection of sex toys next to me and porn cued up on my phone. But lately, I've been thinking more and more about how turned on I get while watching random shows on Netflix. Something about seeing my favorite characters get down and dirty on screen is extremely arousing.

And that's when I thought: Wait, I could use Netflix just like any other porn site? With all the lesbian sex scenes, the dry-humping, the abs on Regé-Jean Page's beautifully-sculpted body, I thought I could for sure orgasm from it all.

So with my husband gone for the weekend and the house to myself, I charged up my clitoral vibrator and got to work compiling a list of the steamiest scenes on Netflix that always make me want to come. The experiment: Let's see if Netflix can actually make me orgasm.

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The prep work

As I sorted through the different shows on my Netflix queue, I felt like I was back in school researching for a big project—except this time, the project was my throbbing clitoris, and the only grade I'd be getting was how many times I could orgasm.

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I used this article on Netflix scenes better than porn to pick out my scenes, but getting them all cued up turned out to be much more work than expected. I had to go to each show on my Netflix account, cue up the exact scene, and then leave it untouched to ensure my masturbation marathon would work.

And since some of the shows had more than one scene I wanted to watch (looking at you, Vampire Diaries), I had to write down the timestamps of every scene so I could quickly pull up the next clip without losing my ~momentum~ in real time. After a long afternoon (like, four hours long) of fast-forwarding, pausing, and rewinding, I finally had the end-all be-all playlist.

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Yes, they're basically all teen dramas and no, not all of them are intercourse based. But with a mix of tension-filled foreplay moments, some ex sex, a threesome, and lots of cunnilingus, I was more than ready to prop my feet up and see how many times I could get off to my favorite shows.

Here's how my Netflix masturbating marathon went down.

After spiking my coffee and lighting some candles, I cued up my Netflix the morning after I had put in the prep work. The first scene in my cue: Vampire Diaries, Season Three, Episode 19, 22 minutes in.

I immediately started touching myself, and right away, I knew it wasn't going to take long to get an orgasm in. Something about kicking off my marathon with Ian Somerhalder (The eyes? The arms? The fuckboy attitude?) got me going. I had to stop myself from orgasming during the clip as Damon and Elena made out in a sketchy hotel hallway.

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Up next was Bridgerton, Season One, Episode Three, 32 minutes in, but by the time I was listening to Simon tell Daphne how to masturbate in Bridgerton, I was on the brink of my own orgasm once again.

I chugged a glass of water before pulling up the next scene: Ginny & Georgia, Season One, Episode Nine, 44 minutes in. My skin felt like it was on fire and my hips were basically convulsing. A few seconds into the most epic dry humping clip ever, I felt my own body come undone, and I sat panting through the rest of the scene.

Just when I needed a break to build the tension back up again, Reign, Season One, Episode One, 27 minutes in, was on deck. I knew I would need a slow-burn clip to get me going, and watching Kenna did just that.

I got ready for Orgasm Round Two with The Vampire Diaries, Season Five, Episode 17, 18 minutes in. By the time I landed on this clip (which involved some frustrated scrolling through the seasons with my pants off), I could feel another orgasm building.

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After watching Choni have bar sex in Riverdale, Season Three, Episode 15, and exes Alex and Piper have hate sex in Orange Is The New Black, Season Three, Episode 2, I had already come two more times.

With two more clips to go, however, I wasn't sure how much more my body could take. Since I spent so long curating my playlist, I wanted to make it to the end, but after orgasming three times in the span of about thirty minutes, I was low-key exhausted.

I debated abandoning the whole experiment (since honestly, I wasn't exactly thirsting for more orgasms), but after splashing some water on my face and giving my vagina a pep talk, I navigated to another clip: Vampire Diaries, Season Three, Episode 17, 10 minutes in. Turns out, watching Damon flirt with Rebeka was exactly what I needed to get the juices flowing again. I finally felt my body begin to respond again.

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Even though my skin was starting to feel rubbed raw and my clit seemed vaguely numb, I made it to my last scene: Bridgerton, Season One, Episode Six, 11 minutes in. And I had to really concentrate to even feel anything. I found myself more interested in just watching the clips than going through my vibrator settings to find something that felt good.

It wasn't until Daphne and Simon started going at it in the rain in Bridgerton (and I turned my toy to the max setting), that I finally came for the fourth time. I laid frozen on my couch as the couple continued having sex, unable to bring myself to go for Round Five. My heart was racing, I smelled like a hamster cage, and I wasn't sure if I even had the ability to orgasm anymore. Instead of trying again, I just watched the rest of the episode before falling asleep on the couch, my vibrator unceremoniously abandoned.

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LIAM DANIEL/NETFLIX

Final thoughts

While masturbating to my favorite TV shows seemed like a great idea in theory, I realized that fast-forwarding to the sex scenes took some of the magic away. It's the build of the characters that makes their hookups so steamy, and by jumping to their trysts, I found myself missing the storylines that made their acts so exciting. That, and also getting distracted by the actual episodes and forgetting that I was supposed to be coming as opposed to getting sucked into the drama, was a bit of a downer.

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But still, I can't deny that the actual scenes were just as hot as the porn I normally watch, and getting off to my on-screen crushes made for some seriously intense orgasms.

The next time I have a Netflix masturbation marathon, I think I'll aim for a few less clips, as the two total hours I spent with my vibrator might have been too much. Maybe that way, my skin will feel a little less tender, and I won't have to spend so long sanitizing my remote afterward. Either way, I'll probably be watching Netflix a little bit differently whenever I'm in the mood to mix things up. You should too.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.