In all of my past relationships, I was never used to posting couple pics on Facebook or on Instagram. My friends were aware of my stance, so when I dated someone who was all for social media PDA, they knew it was the guy's blueprint. He was a believer in hard launches long before that term was attached to dating.
That ex liked having our pictures posted online so people would know that we were together. The world needs to know that we weren't single. I found that odd because I didn't think my then relationship needed a social media PR strategy. I was alright with us spending the weekends together in private. When we would dine out, I would enjoy the meal and our conversation. It didn't feel natural to me to take a couple selfie and post it online. I was there for our date, not to show off to my FB friends that I had a boyfriend.
My opposite view would be a cause of arguments, and I would get thrown the question: "Aren't you proud of our relationship? Are you ashamed that I'm your boyfriend?" I would, of course, post some photos to compromise and avoid conflict.
We had other issues, but his pro-PDA stance on social media was one of the things that puzzled me until the end of the relationship. I've always preferred to move in silence. My friends didn't even know we have broken up already until months after. A breakup is not just something you announce online, right?
During my "Eat, Pray, Love" season as a newly single girl, I discovered that I didn't want to post couple pics not because I wasn't into my ex. It was that I found beauty in silence. There is the peace that I get when my special moments with the person I love are kept between us. I also realized what he thought was true: I didn't want to people to know about my relationship but not because I wanted to appear single online. I simply believed it was my relationship, not theirs.
Before I get labeled as a "pa-cool" person or social media snob, let me clarify: I am supportive of friends who post couple photos. I even have One True Pairs (OTP) I totally ship! I get kilig when I see their posts, and even DM my reaction. Like a normal human being, I like to be updated with other people's dating status indirectly through an IG Story or Carousel post. It's just my preference not to share my relationship online.
I still have the same mindset in my current relationship. If you're wondering if I "act single" online or if I keep him a secret, I don't. I have introduced him to my family and friends and vice versa. I go to his family gatherings and hang out with his friends. He also spends time with my family and friends. It also helps that he's also not into soc-med PDA.
The number of times we post our couple pictures doesn't define our relationship. We believe what happens offline is more valuable than what is seen (or not seen) online. Also, no one would have a clue that we were having a fight. We can enjoy our special moments and fix our issues in private. We assure each other through our actions, not just from a photo with a lengthy caption. We tell our sweet words to each other directly. We both believe our romantic and mundane moments should be kept between us.