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People Share The Craziest Things They've Done After A Breakup

'I took his toothbrush [and] brushed it on the inside of the toilet bowl...'
PHOTO: istockphoto

Anyone who has been through a breakup knows that those things can wreck you so hard, some of your screws come loose. Sometimes you snap and do totally out-of-character acts that you end up regretting, other times you gain the bravado to do bold things you never would've done if you were thinking clearer. Either way, the results are always interesting—not to mention comedy fodder among your friends for years to come.

Here, 12 people tell us about the craziest things they've done post-breakup. PSA: In case you ever do the dumping, make sure to hide your toothbrush where your ex can't find it.

The one who got a tattoo

"I was madly in love with my second girlfriend. Eh naghiwalay kami, so para maka-move on ako, I got a tattoo. My tattoo was in Arabic and it meant 'LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.' I regretted it about a couple of months after getting it done; I said to myself that I should've chosen another design since I was going to permanently mark myself. But then I realized that the breakup happened for a reason and that tattoo now serves as a personal reminder that I should love myself first before others. That way, if I get into another heartbreak, I won't be as shattered as I was before. Pero sana talaga ibang design na lang." Maree, 23

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The one who had to be dumped with a bucket of ice-cold water

"Back in college, I used to be quite a manang; I wasn't the type to go out and party on school nights. My boyfriend would usually drop me off at home after school, giving him all the time to sneak around behind my back at night, which caused the breakup. Because I wanted to prove to him that I shouldn't be taken for granted and that I could be rebellious, too, I started going out and getting drunk every single night. One time while drinking, my heart just burst with all the crazy emotions inside me and I started crying. I lay down in the middle of the street, crying my heart out and rolling over like a wounded dog. My friend had to take matters into her own hands: She threw a bucket filled with ice and cold water over me. I think there were pictures." —Jam, 27 

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The one who flew to Europe on a whim

"I went through the worst heartbreak ever in 2013. Staying in the same city as my ex made me claustrophobic, so I took an unpaid leave from work for about a month and flew off to Europe—alone. It was such an abrupt and unplanned trip that it led to several mishaps. I missed my flight from Singapore to Paris, lost my luggage in the process, got lost trying to find my hotel, and ended up having a mild breakdown. But the emotional dust eventually settled and I began feeling adventurous. I stayed in a haunted castle in the French countryside, hung out and got high with a bunch of Spanish guitar-playing dudes in Barcelona, spent a lovely night with an Australian girl I met on a wine tour in Bordeaux, and did other things that seemed straight out of a rom-com. The worst heartbreak ever led me to one of the biggest adventures of my life." —Cris, 37 

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The one who spent all her money on a nine-month drinking binge 

"I quit my high-paying job and spent all of my separation pay on a nine-month nightly drinking spree with friends who supported my mourning over the loss of an ex I never had closure with. I would pay for everything just so they wouldn't complain about keeping me company. All those nights in nine months, I never bumped into my ex despite him living nearby. On the night I decided would be the last of my drinking binge because I figured I was already over him, and besides, I had already exhausted my bank account, the ex showed up in the same pub. With his gorgeous new girl in tow. By then, I couldn't afford another nine months of drinking like crazy, perhaps not even another bottle of beer. I could've bought a new car or even a small house with that money. Pero naubos na lang pera ko, hindi pa din ako nakapag-move on." —Niña, 33

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The one who quit his job

"Losing my second girlfriend and the love of my life really hit me the hardest. We worked for the same multinational company, which was where we met. When she broke up with me, I had almost zero EQ left for myself. I told myself that at least I still had a great job and a promotion lined up. But a month after our breakup, I found out that I had gotten passed up for the promotion. Instead, I was being asked to transfer to a different department as a lateral movement and to reside in Zamboanga for two years with hazard pay. I lost the girl, then I lost the promotion. So I snapped. I said 'fuck it' to the career and resigned soon after. I walked away from the company I thought I would retire with. No plans, no idea what the hell I should do next." —Marco, 32 

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The one who begged her boyfriend to take her back while drunk

"The greatest love of my twentysomething life dumped me so he could hook up with his officemate. I was reeling from that breakup and thankfully, I had some really supportive friends who helped me get by. Among them was a couple (who eventually broke up, too!) I went out drinking with on a regular basis to drown my sorrows. One of these nights involved drinking a cocktail called 'Flying Tiger' which was made up of nine different types of alcohol. We really enjoyed the drinks, and I didn't realize how drunk I was. Somehow, I found out that night that my ex was hanging out at Meatshop, the now-defunct Katipunan hangout, so I persuaded my couple friend to drive me there. When I got there, I ended up begging him to take me back, to no avail. I pretty much sobered up quickly when I realized just how hopeless the situation was. A false sense of bravado and booze is a combination that usually doesn't end well. Thanks, Crying Tiger." —B, 34

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The one who publicly burned her ex on social media

"In 2008, my boyfriend of six years and I broke up because he was cheating on me with his officemate. Friendster was the in thing then, and on it, you could see the people who had viewed your page. At the time when I was so depressed, angry, and lost because of the breakup, I could see the new girl always viewing my Friendster page. I paid it no mind, but I snapped when I saw BOTH of their accounts viewing my page. I wrote an open letter addressed to them both and posted it publicly. The letter contained nasty and disgusting revelations about my ex, including him having body odor and fake teeth, and how his new girlfriend was ugly and pathetic. His friends found it very funny, but his parents were very disappointed in me. I also found out that after he had read the open letter, he got so drunk and cried because he couldn't believe I could do such thing. After a few months, I posted an apology letter. I felt guilty, too. I learned never to act out of revenge again." —Ann, 34

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The one who ended up making out with three guys in one night 

"In my final year of college, I found out that my boyfriend of three years had been cheating on me. He promised to break it off with the other girl so we could work it out, but a few months later, I found out that he was cheating on me still. I went through a self-destructive phase where I would drink every night with anyone—literally anyone. One night, I found myself at a wild house party with people I didn't know, doing three different drugs, and making out with three different guys. Not my most shining moment, but goddamn, I was a heartbroken mess then." —Rica, 29

The one who IRL stalked her ex's new girl

"I had been in an on-again, off-again relationship with an ex for five years. Yes, it is as exhausting as it sounds. Before the last time he broke up with me, I could already sense him drifting away because I could see his constant interactions with another girl online. He denied that there was something going on between them, but I had my suspicions. A few months after the breakup, I saw the girl standing outside our campus, as if waiting for someone to pick her up. I had a feeling she was waiting for my ex, and I wanted to find out if I was right. So I followed her around, hiding behind posts so as not to be seen. I felt like a deranged spy. When the car she had been waiting for pulled up, it did turn out to be my ex's car. She got in, I called my sister, and I cried." —China, 22

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The one who bought a gun

"I had a girlfriend of five years to whom I popped the question; she said 'no' and said I was not good enough. I was hurt, angry, sorrowful, and we broke up afterwards. Initially my mind was set on revenge, but didn't do anything to hurt her. Instead, I set out to prove her wrong. After our breakup, I was assigned in Cebu, worked hard, and got promoted to the position that I really wanted. I was single, with tons of time and lots of money, so what did I do? I bought a gun. No, I didn't kill my ex and her current boyfriend—who was my best friend, by the way. I went to the range, joined a gun club, practiced, competed in tournaments, and won." —Cedric, 34

The one who put his ex's toothbrush somewhere it shouldn't be 

"I found out that my partner was cheating on me. I used to stay at his place, so after the breakup, I began packing up all my stuff. When I got to the bathroom to grab my toothbrush—I don't know what came over me—but I took his toothbrush, brushed it on the inside of the toilet bowl, then put it back in its place." —Toffee, 27 

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The one who finally got up the courage to ask a girl he has liked for 10 years (yay?)

"Months after a breakup, I finally asked out a girl I had liked for years. I was making up for lost time since we had met in one of those writing workshops in high school, and this was around a decade later. Pumayag na sana siya, kaso umatras at the last minute. I asked her why weeks later, and she gave me the most honest answer: 'Akala ko kasi may ibebenta ka sa akin na product kasi out of nowhere kang nagyaya.' Wasak." —JJ, 31

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