Science Suggests Being 'Pakipot' Actually Works

Don't hate the player, hate the game?
PHOTO: Nick Onken

Your lola, mother, sister, cousin, bestie—they've all probably given you the same advice at some point: "Konting pakipot naman." In the dating world, we're supposed to be the passive one. We shouldn't text first, respond too fast, or show we're interested (at least not until he declares his undying love for you—and sometimes, not even then). He has to work for it. How many times has your mother said, "easy to get, easy to forget"? The worst part is it turns out, she was right all along—kind of. Ugh. 

A study conducted by the Chinese University of Hong Kong, the University of Toronto, and Stanford University found that being mysterious makes you more appealing. 61 male participants were told they'd be participating in a speed-dating experiment. Some men were told they were assigned a woman, while some were allowed to choose from a group of profiles. The profiles were compiled in such a way that there was one woman who was clearly more attractive than the rest. More often than not, the men who were given choices picked her.

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During the actual date, the woman was told to be upbeat and interested with half of the guys, and passive and bored with the other half. As previously stated, the men were more interested in the woman who played hard to get—but only the men who actually chose her. Why? Because they felt "committed" to her; they wanted to see their decision through. 

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Do women feel the same way?

Well, in another study, researchers from Harvard University and the University of Virginia "recruited 47 female undergrads, and told them that their Facebook profiles would be viewed by students at other universities. Each woman got to see the Facebook profiles of four men who had viewed her profile."

The women were divided into three groups: the first group was told that they were looking at profiles of guys who liked them the most; the second group thought they were looking at profiles of men who rated them as average; and the last group didn't know how they were rated. 

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True enough, the women liked the men more when they didn't know the rating they got! And they later admitted that they even thought of the men more just because they didn't know if the men liked them. We're no stranger to that feeling, right? 

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