An Expert Shares The Signs That Tell You're Ready To Marry Your Partner

Have you recognized what you can agree to disagree on?
PHOTO: MIRAGEC/GETTY IMAGES

If you feel like wedding invitations are flying at you left, right and center, yes, you might be wondering about the correct etiquette of a wedding guest, but you might also start thinking about whether you're ready to marry your own partner.

It can be tough to know whether what you feel for your partner is lust or love, but once you've got that cracked, how do you know it's time to actually get married? We asked a Relate expert, Relationship Counsellor and Sex Therapist, Ammanda Major, to share the signs to look out for so you know you're ready to get married.

Are you ready to get married?

WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW

It might sound cliché, but if it feels right, it probably is. "You can tell you're in love when it feels right," says Ammanda. "[It's] when you feel comfortable and can both be vulnerable with each other, and don't take advantage of each other's vulnerability.

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"You can accept each other's shortcomings and still love them. Listen to your feelings, and similarly, if you feel worried about the relationship, there's probably a reason why."

YOU CAN RESOLVE AN ARGUMENT

While it's unrealistic to never argue with your partner, Ammanda says if you're ready to get married you should be able to argue and then resolve it easily.

"You'll know it's not right if you keep having the same arguments that never get resolved. Over time, that becomes exhausting. You want to be able to be annoyed with each other, but not to have it mean that the sky is falling in.

"You should both be able to take responsibility for what you contributed to the argument, using 'I' statements instead of blaming the other person. And you should be prepared to be criticized and be able to be critical of your partner in a constructive way."

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YOU CAN TALK ABOUT SERIOUS THINGS

Ammanda says if you're ready to get married you should have good enough communication skills to talk about serious things that could impact your relationship. For example, do you feel comfortable with each other's friends and family? Have they been in a previous marriage, or do they already have kids, and how do you feel about that? Do you both agree on whether you should keep in touch with exes or not?

DO YOU HAVE THE SAME GOALS AND LIFE EXPECTATIONS?

"You should also be able to talk about the serious things that will affect your future together, like whether you want children and how you can deal with a family member that one of you can't stand. If your partner has previous children, you need to discuss the impact of having a stepchild."

"Think about whether you have the same views on things like money, whether you can talk about it openly and whether you like to spend or save, as these everyday concerns can cause problems if you don't agree, especially once the honeymoon phase has worn off."

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RECOGNIZE WHAT YOU CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE ON, AND WHAT YOU CAN'T

Ammanda suggests recognizing the things that you're able to agree to disagree on, which could be things like your political views, even Brexit, or not liking each other's wider family - which doesn't have to be a complete dealbreaker if you can manage events with them.

Meanwhile, she recommends recognizing the things that you need to be in agreement on, for example how you manage money and whether you want children, as disagreements on those kinds of things are more difficult to get past.

Ammanda Major is a Relationship Counsellor and Sex Therapist at Relate.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

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