Remember when your romance was new, you’d wax and scrub and lotion every inch of your body, while your guy wouldn’t leave the house without smelling like a perfume counter? It’s a short-lived phase, though—once you two get comfortable enough with each other, you let that first fart fly in his presence, he lets you fish out that little bugger hanging from his nostril, and the next thing you know, you’ve mastered his bathroom smells like the back of your hand.
Here, we got real girls to reveal the dirty, distasteful, or downright disgusting moments they’ve shared with their beaus. Ah, true love.
“My boyfriend and I took our first shower together one day while we were on an out-of-town trip. We had just returned to the inn from the beach and were rinsing our bodies off in the shower. I had had this irrepressible urge to pee the whole ride back, so I just did it. In the shower. While standing. Like a man. Hot pee trickling down my legs and mixing with the pool of water on the bathroom floor, where it touched his feet. Needless to say, he did not find it sexy, but he just laughed it off.” - Ana, 30
“My boyfriend freely picks his nose when we're together. It's just the way he is. One time he picked his nose and pretended to wipe the booger on me, so I tried to get away from him and slapped his hand away. But then his hand landed on my skin, and the booger stuck. To retaliate, I started picking my own nose to get a booger out and wiped it on him. It turned into a game between us, going back and forth wiping boogers on each other.” - Bree, 23
“Before I got over my fear of waxing, my boyfriend and I used to shave our private parts. As a result, we would both get these occasional ingrown hairs that would hurt and swell (because you knew there was—ugh—pus in there). With a pair of tweezers and a bunch of cotton and rubbing alcohol, I would really get in there to make sure to remove his ingrown hairs from the root, and he'd do the same for me, too. It was bloody, pus-y and really, really fun at the same time.” - Erin, 27
“My boyfriend has really big feet and this annoying habit of growing his toenails longer than normal. The tips would curve in because they would rub against the insides of his shoes. Despite my protests, he would keep them that way just to piss me off. One time, in my absurd fascination, I painted his toenails with red nail polish. Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed painting his toenails because they were so disgustingly long and big.” - Kath, 30
Battle of the Smells
“One time, my boyfriend and I were in a hurry to go somewhere so we used the bathroom at the same time: me in the shower, and him shitting on the toilet. While I was soaping away trying to smell divine in there, he was just a few feet away, giving off these nasty smells.” – Karrie, 26
A Snotty Surprise
“Sometimes when I’m at my boyfriend’s place, I get extreme allergy attacks and sneeze like there’s no tomorrow. As you can imagine, it’s snot (Get it? Get it?) a pretty situation. I end up blowing my nose and dumping clusters of biohazardous tissues in the crevices by his bed. By the time he finds it, I’ve left a small mountain of my tiny snot rags.” - Rose, 23
Barf & Blow
“My boyfriend and I had just gotten back to my apartment from a night out, and we were super drunk. At least, I was—he was still raring for a blowjob. Right after I threw up in the toilet and crashed into my bed, without warning, he unzipped his pants and stuck the D in my fresh-from-puking mouth. So romantic.” – Cathy, 29
Post-Vomit Love Moves
“Whenever I’ve had too much to drink and end up puking my guts out—which happens often—my boyfriend takes care of me by patting my back and pulling my hair back as I puke. Once I’m done, he strips me off, helps me get showered, then tucks me into bed. When I wake up, there’ll be a glass of water and Berocca beside my bed. Sometimes, he even serves me breakfast in bed. Aww.” - Jessica, 28
Follow Cheekie on Twitter.