Real Men Explain 'Guy Code'

Respect your bro's relationship with his exes.
PHOTO: Neighbors/Universal Pictures

If you've ever heard a guy talk about "Bro Code" and thought, "OK, that is not a thing, but if it is a thing, I want to know what it is," you're not alone. A recent AskReddit thread prompted male users to reveal what they think the Bro Code should include if it were a literal document, and the answers are bro-tastic. 

1. Friend bros before non-friend bros. 

 A lot of Reddit users listed variations on this concept, but the consensus clear: making fun of your closest friends just to impress a woman or a new person in your friend group is cold as hell. Those are the people who will always be there for you, so it's probably not worth risking that friendship just to make a dumb joke.

2. Stop being so picky about your preference in beers.

 Obviously, you're allowed to have a preference in your own home, but Bro Code dictates that you should also accept whatever is around you and enjoy it like a decent human being. As Shayde505 says, "Your favorite beer is free. Your second favorite beer is cold. If your bro offers a beer don't bitch [that] it isn't your brand." 

3. Don't tell your friend you've heard his lame story before. 

 It's not the worst thing in the world to tell someone you've already heard that story they were about to tell, but also, who cares? If someone looks genuinely excited to tell a story you already heard from a mutual friend, just suck it up and listen. It'll make them super happy and you'll get to hear the tale of your bro getting drunk inside a Mcdo last summer for the second time. 

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4. Urinal code should be treated as law. 

 Urinal conduct is a big topic in this Reddit thread, which makes sense, since it's just a weird situation all around. According to VersusChou, the best course of action is, "Never take the urinal directly beside someone else if there are any others available. Conversation must stop no later than when the stream starts." 

5. Do not talk about Bro Code. 

 At least in terms of calling it "Bro Code." Why? Perhaps because it makes you sound like a teenage boy setting up rules inside his couch fort when you're actually 24. That could be it. 

6. Let new bros in your group. 

It's rough being that lone guy who is trying to break into a friend group, so give him a break. As Mattered puts it, "We weren't born with the bros we have. Let another bro at least hang about with your group." Ah, but what a beautiful world it would be if we were born with our bros. Born Bros we could call them. 

7. No moving-related favors shall go unrewarded. 

 It should seem obvious, but don't invite your bros to help you move and then not have pizza and beer waiting for them after they do. Thus are the rules of Bro Code. 

8. Respect your bro's relationship with his exes. 

That's not to say that you can't date your friend's exes though. F1nance offers a good middle ground rule, saying, "Absolutely no getting with a guy's ex-girlfriend unless he has given you his blessing." Fair enough. 

9. No joke injuries. 

We all know hitting your bros in the balls is hilaaaaarious (IDK why, but apparently it is?), but Reddit users had a pretty clear "no hitting your bro in the balls" stance. Even if you claim it was a "joke," this violates Bro Code like whoa. 

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10. Look out for your bro's best dating interests. 

 Forget the idiotic "bros before hos" mentality and just make sure your friends are happy with whoever they're dating. As AWildCookieMonster says"If your bro has a girlfriend, be completely nice to her. If he asks for your honest opinion, be straight up about your thoughts." 

11. Don't be a homophobe. 

I couldn't be happier to see several guys on the Reddit thread say that homophobia goes against Bro Code because it should. Random_9001 put it best, saying, "Straight men shall understand when a gay or bisexual bro forms a crush on them and be cool about it." 

12. Don't be such a stereotypical bro. 

Just because you're a stone-cold bro doesn't mean you're not allowed to have emotions at all. You can be a bro who cries and has feelings and cares about people. Being a bro can mean a great many things. 

13. Video games are sacred.

And your video game behavior should be appropriately thoughtful. As Greyclocks says, "If you are a guest in the house, you always take the worst controller." Or, I don't know, get more controllers that are good? Just my non-bro two cents. Either one works. 

14. Do not take all the beer and pizza of thy brethren. 

Obviously, it's OK to eat the last slice of pizza or drink the last beer, but be prepared to buy more of each for your fellow bros. Especially if you did both of those things. Now go forth and be an A+ bro. 

 

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

 

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