There are people out there who are in it just for the sex. They're not great together, in fact, they seem miserable. But the whole thing is kept together through genital-to-genital contact. But if this isn't just a friends-with-benefits situation, relationships are supposed to be a delicate balance of emotional and physical.
Conversely, there are some people who have a great relationship, but are left unsatisfied in the bedroom for a variety of reasons. Here's how to tell if you're one of the latter.
1. Your sex is rarely spontaneous.
You don't seduce each other. You never fall into each other's arms or jump your partner at the door.
2. You have absolutely zero sex positions that you both enjoy.
Essentially, at any given time during sex, one of you isn't enjoying yourself. You're just doing it to get the other one off.
3. You can never, ever get a rhythm going.
Any time you start getting into it, the other one starts moving their hips opposite you like you're operating a tandem saw with your junk, like pervert lumberjacks. And then the moment is ruined.
4. One of you is constantly zoning out.
And it's painfully obvious. "On no, I was just getting into it," you clumsily say. But you weren't. You were staring at the weird stain on the carpet.
5. You tend to have sex with the TV on.
You don't want to say anything, but you suspect your partner doesn't mind the TV on because they're also watching it.
6. You really only ever have sex on holidays and birthdays.
And even then, it feels like it's out of obligation to each other.
7. You're never horny at the same time. Ever.
When you're horny, your partner is "busy" and vice versa.
8. You wind up finishing yourself off.
Not just occasionally, always. It's totally fine if you just can't get there every time, but your sex life has basically devolved into masturbation with spectators.
9. Your libidos feel totally mismatched.
If he wants to have sex six times a week, and you're genuinely comfortable at one or two, this is bound to lead to both of you getting frustrated that your needs aren't matching up.
10. Your friend told you she always orgasms with her boyfriend...and you thought she was joking.
She isn't. That's a real thing that can happen.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.