How *Exactly* Do You Use A Strap-On?

Just in case you’re thinking about trying it in the future.
PHOTO: Lauvette

The first time I ever heard the term “strap-on” was on Sex and the City. And while it’s not exactly the most progressive show in terms of body positivity or LGBTQIA rights, it did teach me a lot about sex—enough that I’m still referencing it almost a decade later. They never actually showed the strap-on on network television, but Samantha threw her back out while trying it for the first time with her girlfriend, Maria. It was enough to pique my curiosity.

But it wasn’t until years later when I actually saw one on TV, in an episode of Broad City. One of the leads, Abbi, hooks up with her crush for the first time, and she’s caught by surprise when he casually hands her a strap-on and a Shinjo (a high-end dildo) after she asked if he wanted to “switch it up.” Miscommunication aside, it was eye-opening and it made waves on the Internet because you almost never encounter a pegging scene on TV. Check it out:

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But what exactly is a strap-on?

A strap-on is a sex toy with two parts: the harness and a dildo. When used during penetrative sex, the dildo is usually phallic and non-vibrating. A person wears the harness around the hips and the dildo is attached to the harness.

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Like most sex toys, a strap-on comes in many forms. The harness, for one thing, can look like a pair of panties with a hole in the middle where the dildo goes; like an athlete’s jock strap; or can be made of leather and fit around your butt. I’m sure there are several other versions out there, but those are the common types. The good news is that most strap-ons are adjustable for dildos of different sizes—all you have to do is adjust the O-string.

What to consider when buying a strap-on

If you’re thinking about buying a strap-on to use with a partner, like any new sexperiment, it’s always a good idea to talk about it first. What do you both want out of the experience? Do you prefer to be on top (wearing the strap-on) or the bottom? You can always switch positions, but it’s better to set your expectations before even buying your new toy.

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You also need to consider your preference. Sure, a leather harness seems like the sexiest option, but is it comfortable enough for you to keep using? More than aesthetic, pick a strap-on that won’t be left collecting dust in some closet. Keep in mind that you can also just have one custom-made if you can afford it.

How to wear a strap-on properly

The key to using a strap-on during sex and actually enjoying it is making sure it fits perfectly. The dildo you pick needs to be secured to the harness. To mimic penetrative sex and the thrusting involved, your dildo cannot be wobbly. It’s also advisable to pick a dildo that isn’t too stretchy, otherwise it would pull and push along with the movement. If you’re nervous about your first time, it won’t hurt to start with a small dildo and work your way up, especially if there’s a chance for anal sex.

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When picking a strap-on, have the harness sit lower on your hips so that it’s almost against your clit: This way, you also feel pleasure while penetrating someone else.

Before using it on someone, wear it around the house for periods of time. It may sound silly, but it’ll help you get used to having it on you. Imagine putting it on for the first time and having to use it right away without any practice.

How to clean a dildo

Just like any sex toy, cleaning your dildo after every use is a must—yes even if you just use it on yourself! Sex toys can harbor bacteria and fungi, which can cause infections for both you and your partner. Cleaning a sex toy depends on the material, but it’s always safe to use soap and water at the very least.

If your dildo is made of elastomer or latex, it might be sensitive to heat; wipe it down with a damp, soapy towel before rinsing it. If the material is borosilicate glass, silicone, or metal, you can also wipe it down with a damp towel, or if it doesn’t vibrate, feel free to boil it for three minutes to fully disinfect it.

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So what are you waiting for? Interested in buying your first strap-on? Lauvette.ph has plenty for you to choose from.

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