There are things in life that are definitely worth fighting for. Your reputation, your family, and certainly your man are some of the examples. But, just like what your history professor taught you, nobody has ever won every battle. The same rule applies to your relationship with your guy, whether you’re married to him or not yet. Choose to butt heads with these women in his life, for example, and you’re bound to end up on the losing end of a relationship death match. Pick your battles well, ladies. There are no guarantees that your relationship won’t be rocky, but respecting certain women who are constants in his world will earn you brownie points.
1. His mother.
Think of him as a mama’s boy all you want. Tell it to his face, even. But between you and his mother, he’d be at his mother’s defense most times. As much as our society has become modernized, we still love our mothers to death. “Mom ko ’yun eh,” Alex, 31, writer, says almost immediately with a straight face, a you-must-be-crazy-for-asking-why look, and a raised voice. Go ask other guys and you’ll most probably get the same answer—with a similar tone to boot.
2. His sister.
Just like how you’d protect your own sibling, our sisters are wired to defend us against anyone—including you. “Aawayin ka talaga ng ate ko,” shares Frantz, 29, graphic artist. And when that happens, remember The Godfather. It’s a staple amongst the roster of favorite movies for most guys, one that teaches us how real men act (yes, we take life lessons from movies). And, one famous line from it that has stuck in our minds is when Michael Corleone said, “Don’t ever take sides against the family—ever.” So, if you find yourself about to enter in a heated exchange with his sister, do yourself a favor and don’t push through with it. Or, if something she did really bugs you, tell your man in private and let him deal with it.
3. His girl best friend.
This is tricky. If they’ve been close friends before you even became a couple, tread carefully. “She’s been a part of my life way before, so my girlfriend has to accept that,” explains Wayne, 27, a fitness coach. Make sure you hang out with her more than a few times to get to know her better—and what role she really plays in his life. Get on her good side, and you might just unearth some surprises about your man. Get on her bad side, and you’re digging a ditch for your relationship to be laid to rest.
4. His boss.
Plenty of ladies are now occupying the top posts in many offices, so this won’t be a surprise. The reason why you shouldn’t mess with this woman in his life isn’t a surprise though. “My job is on the line. Tell me whatever complaints you have about my work hours or my boss. Baka pareho pa tayo ng reklamo. But, never go up to her directly,” advises Eric, 26, researcher.
This story originally appeared in Cosmopolitan magazine, January 2011.
* Minor edits have been made by Cosmo.ph editors