1. The Exclusive Edict
“You’re not sleeping with anyone else, right? We are in a mutually exclusive relationship?”
Because of these liberated times we live in, it might be safest for couples to ensure that their partner is monogamous. It’s the first talk that actually binds the relationship, where the two people involved make a mutual pack of loyalty to each other. If a man isn’t willing to be solely yours in the romance department, he’s probably not that into you and is in it for the nookie. Get a clear-cut answer. There are no gray areas with this one. You wouldn’t want to be half a year into the relationship when you find out he’s been sticking his willy into another babe’s tunnel of love.
2. The Numbers Game
“Are you serious? You’ve slept with 12 girls?!”
It was the long-forgotten sequel to sex comedy American Pie that gifted then-youngins the concept of the Rule of Three. “If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total,” says the sassy Jessica, played by Orange Is The New Black's Natasha Lyonne. In contrast to that, the movie also jokes that when a girl tells you her number, you multiply that by three to get her actual total.
The point the movie was trying to make is that guys might lie about the number of sexual partners they’ve had in an attempt to amplify their machismo, while girls tend to downplay the sum for fear of being judged. But when you’re with someone for the long haul, it’s in your best interest to be truthful about past exploits. Just don’t go into dirty details. You might give each other one too many, hard to unsee mental images.
3. Family Ties
“So your mom is an alcoholic, your dad is in jail, and your brother is in rehab. Sounds like a fun bunch!”
Meeting the fambam can be stressful if your partner isn’t briefed about the personalities he’ll be encountering. You’d feel the same if put in that position. Is your pops the stern benevolent type? Does mom approve of a little alcohol to loosen things up at gatherings? Is your inked-out big bro overprotective? Are your in-laws secretly hating on your quirky ideals? It’s family, so it’s natural to want to impress. And if you’re lucky, things will be as smooth as butter. It would just be nice to know if any side has a history of psychosis.
4. Money Talks
“Are we saving up for the future?”
When the relationship starts getting serious, talks of building a future will eventually lead to matters of money. Or lack thereof. It’s one of the most sensitive things couples worry about. Financial instability has ruined one too many marriages. Yes, it’s not the most important thing and it’s easily one of the grossest topics to fight about. Professional triumphs and wallet woes come and go, just remember to be there for each other with an unlimited currency of hugs and kisses.
5. How You'll Be Hatin'
“I hate it when [insert pet peeve here]!”
Make your turn-ons and turn-offs known early on. It’s important to establish what makes you guys tick. Do you hate it when he farts around you? (“I’m only human!”) Does his constant struggle with punctuality eat at your nerves? (“But babe, I was stuck in traffic!”) Are you annoyed that he jumps out of bed the minute the sex is over? (“I needed to pee!”) Draw the lines before someone crosses them too much. The downside to this conversation, however, is while you are sharing the machinations of your inner-self, you’ll also be revealing to him what buttons to push in the process.
6. Let's Talk About Sex, Baby
“Honey, did you come?”
Post-coitus pillow talk is integral in strengthening your sexual experience as lovers. Ensuring that you're both satisfied after a sesh under the sheets will help you learn more about each other’s bodies. Compliment. Ask questions. Hell, ask for directions and give them as well. Just be careful to tread lightly so you don’t hurt each other’s feelings.
7. For Keeps Sake
“So BAE, are we growing old together?”
It’s one of the scariest conversations to have, but ultimately anyone who hates wasting their time will bring up talks of a lifelong commitment. Are there wedding bells in the near future? Do you guys want to forge a family together? Where should you build this so-called life? These are the hard-hitting queries that need real answers.
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