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The 8 Best Things About Being Sexually Fluid

If anyone is a jerk about your sexuality, you can be like, 'OK, thank you, bye forever!'

1. You could fall in love with literally anyone in any room who doesn't seem like a total tool. Are you going to fall for the guy with the weird man-bun and black nail polish? No, but honestly, no one is falling in love with that guy tonight. (Also, you might fall in love with no one in the room. This happens most often.)

2. If a woman just broke your heart, you can be like, "Screw women, I'm only dating bros who wear Axe body spray for the next six months." Not that that's advisable because ew, but if women have seriously been awful to you in the past year and you just can't take it anymore, you can take a break and focus on dating guys for a while. And if you happen to meet some girl who is beyond cool, and doesn't cuddle with her roommate and claim it's platonic (come on, Jen, please), awesome. 

3. If anyone is a jerk about your sexuality, you can be like, "OK, thank you, bye forever!" People who are only attracted to one gender might have weird jerks around them all the time and never know it, but if you're sexually fluid, you can tell if someone is an idiot pretty quickly. Usually because either they don't know what sexually fluid means and when they find out, they look at you like you can't pick a side, or they try to call you bisexual, which you just literally said you weren't. 


4. When you hear people say they can't figure you out, you just laugh like a witch with a secret. Why are people so psyched to figure people out? Can't I have layers? And also, I am a witch. That's one of the main layers. 

5. If you end up with a guy? Still sexually fluid. End up with a woman? Still sexually fluid. End up with a genderqueer person? Sexually fluid 4ever. It's like being an apple: You can be a sauce or a pie or chips or a jam, but you're always an apple. A sexually fluid apple. 

6. When someone asks if you're gay or straight, you can just be like, "Yes." Just one of the many perks of being all of the things. 

7. You can meet someone who is married to someone of the opposite gender and be like, "Yeah, I still don't know their sexual orientation." I have so many friends who are women dating women but who also date guys sometimes, or men who date women but sometimes kiss men, that now, even if I meet someone who is married to an opposite-gender person, I know that doesn't necessarily mean shit. It's pretty dope, you guys. 

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8. Whether they're a guy or a girl, you'll still buy them a drink and get up on that. Gender roles mean kind of nothing to you so if you feel like being the aggressor with any gender, you go there. If you feel like being coy with men or women, you go there too. Sexual fluidity basically rules.

This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors. 

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