The 9 Emotional Stages Men Go Through When Planning A Date

There are few things more mind-blowingly nerve-wracking for men than having to plan an actual date that someone else needs to enjoy.

1. I should suggest a date. I've put no forethought or planning into this, but I'm going to go ahead and blurt it out.

2. Maybe she'll suggest a location. 
Why is she not saying, "OMG THERE'S THIS ITALIAN RESTAURANT I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TRY AND ALSO THIS HOT AIR BALLOON EXPERIENCE?" I came up with the idea of going on a date. When will she fill in the details?

3. Oh, OK I guess I have to plan the date. 
What's a romantic idea? "Oh, well, we could go to France. Haha, just kidding. That would be crazy. My parents went to this restaurant once when I was 8. I forget the name of it, though." Just keep talking until you come up with something.

4. Yelp. There's a reason Yelp is an onomatopoeia for a man crying out in anguish as he attempts to find "nice but not too nice restaurant suggestions."

5. *Sheer panic.* The Internet has failed me.
What is a foolproof date? Dinner and a movie? No, too trite, she'll hate it. A romantic cruise around Manila Bay for a night? No, what if there's a cool breeze and she gets too cold and she hates it. If I can't pick a restaurant in the next five minutes, I am not a man.

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6. Should I just cancel? 
I refuse to take her to Starbucks, but also I can only think of Starbucks.

7. Oh and I forgot about an activity. 

Gotta pick a date activity that complements the dinner, and also is reflective of the two of us as a couple. Laser tag? A science museum? A second dinner?

8. Here's what we're doing, but only if that's OK. 
Please say it is. Proceed to ask "Is that ok?" every 10 seconds.

9. On the date: Is she smiling? 
If she doesn't like her pasta, I have failed as a person and dishonored my family.

This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.

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