1. I should suggest a date. I've put no forethought or planning into this, but I'm going to go ahead and blurt it out.
2. Maybe she'll suggest a location.
Why is she not saying, "OMG THERE'S THIS ITALIAN RESTAURANT I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TRY AND ALSO THIS HOT AIR BALLOON EXPERIENCE?" I came up with the idea of going on a date. When will she fill in the details?
3. Oh, OK I guess I have to plan the date.
What's a romantic idea? "Oh, well, we could go to France. Haha, just kidding. That would be crazy. My parents went to this restaurant once when I was 8. I forget the name of it, though." Just keep talking until you come up with something.
4. Yelp. There's a reason Yelp is an onomatopoeia for a man crying out in anguish as he attempts to find "nice but not too nice restaurant suggestions."
5. *Sheer panic.* The Internet has failed me.
What is a foolproof date? Dinner and a movie? No, too trite, she'll hate it. A romantic cruise around Manila Bay for a night? No, what if there's a cool breeze and she gets too cold and she hates it. If I can't pick a restaurant in the next five minutes, I am not a man.
6. Should I just cancel?
I refuse to take her to Starbucks, but also I can only think of Starbucks.
7. Oh and I forgot about an activity.
Gotta pick a date activity that complements the dinner, and also is reflective of the two of us as a couple. Laser tag? A science museum? A second dinner?
8. Here's what we're doing, but only if that's OK.
Please say it is. Proceed to ask "Is that ok?" every 10 seconds.
9. On the date: Is she smiling?
If she doesn't like her pasta, I have failed as a person and dishonored my family.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.