Is this text funny enough to be the One Text that I send him today? It's a reference to an inside joke from our date! But is it obvious that I'm just looking for an excuse to text him? Ugh, I'll just do it. It's been 10 minutes and he hasn't texted me back, so obviously he thinks I am irrelevant or I remind him of his ex-girlfriend or something. Or maybe his ex-girlfriend is back that's why he hasn't been replying?
2. Two Weeks
OMG this nonstop text banter is so great! I never find guys who are good at text banter, and we've been going back and forth for days now! I wonder if we should start tagging each other on Twitter or Instagram? Is that too forward, though?
3. One Month
He hasn't texted me today. I wonder if that means something? Nah. Maybe. Nah. We Facebook-ed today, so we're cool, I think.
4. Three Months
Talking on the phone at night sometimes before we go to bed has been nice, even though sometimes I just want to say good night after 15 minutes, hang up and go back to my Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd movie marathon. We also take turns calling each other—it seems like we're equally invested in the before-bed call.
5. Six Months
We have now accrued so many inside jokes that our texts are indecipherable to anyone else. We will never have to talk about Serious Relationship Things, we'll just be hilarious together forever!
6. Nine Months
I will not let this relationship stagnate, goddammit. I'm texting to see if he wants to go on an impromptu road trip to Tagaytay. I'm texting to see if he wants to go to the midnight showing of She's Dating The Gangster. I'm texting to see if he wants to do make rainbow looms with me...Wow, he responded to that one real quick.
7. One Year
I want to tell him about this stupid thing my coworker just did. Should I call him at work? He's probably busy. Screw it, I'm calling him at work. [in a whisper] "I love you too, baby." I hope nobody heard that.
8. Two Years and Beyond
"Bahay ka na?"
"Office pa eh."
"K. Ingat pauwi."
End of conversation.
We've been sending sappy texts in the middle of the day about how fun our married lives will be. Oh, I need to tell him to pick up toilet paper.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor changes have been implemented by Cosmo.ph editors.