The Pros And Cons Of Having A Hot Boyfriend

Do you really want to end up with your super guwapo crush or manliligaw? Cosmo girls spill the dirt (and perks).

Think back to the last time you eyeballed a really hot guy. Maybe you fantasized about what you’d do to him if he were between your sheets or nudged your girlfriend so she could enjoy the steamy view, too. Now, cast your mind back to the woman he was with. Oh, you didn’t notice her?

Though bagging a way-above-average-looking guy has its benefits, it’s not without pitfalls. Maybe you’ve experienced a few firsthand. For instance, a hot boyfriend could prompt a confident chick to question her worthiness...or his faithfulness (it takes a strong man to thwart constant advances).

Then there’s the problem of feeling invisible next to him...or the fact that parts of a hot guy’s personality sometimes atrophy when there is so much focus on his looks. All this got us wondering: Is dating a man who inspires lust in womankind all it’s cracked up to be? To find out, Cosmo spoke to women who’ve done it.

Hung Up On Hotness

“For a few months, I dated this Brazilian model, Robert. I couldn’t understand why he was with me because I’m a little too voluptuous, if you know what I mean. To compensate, I’m overly extroverted and funny, and no one can tell that I’m self-conscious about my body. Robert never made me feel big, and I knew he was into me. But I couldn’t bring myself to sleep with him, which is how he found out about my low self-esteem. He kept reassuring me how beautiful I was, and we finally did the deed, but it wasn’t good because of my hang-ups. My issues prevented us from having a normal sex life, and eventually, Robert couldn’t handle it, so we split.”
—Tanya, 26, sales associate

Campus Connection

“When I was a freshman in college, I went to a party and, corny as it sounds, saw this gorgeous guy looking at me from across the room. He had beautiful eyes. I remember looking around to see who he was smiling at, then I realized it was me! He walked me home to my dorm, and it was instant love. He even dumped his girlfriend for me. It was such an ego boost.
—Julie, 32, call center trainer

Flirt Alert

“Gary is a TV commercial director, not to mention a head-turner. I couldn’t walk down the Greenbelt strip with him without every chick doing a double take. One day, he called from the airport and said he needed me to get something off his computer. I was shocked when I found e-mails from different girls! They had sent him head shots with messages that said they’d do whatever he wanted if he would cast them for a role. I was so jealous, but Gary swore nothing was going on with them. Still, I couldn’t handle all the attention he got from women, so it didn’t work out.
—Elle, 25, freelance writer

Booty-Call Bliss

“I always used to think, ‘Who would want to date a guy who’s hotter than they are?’ Then, I met Mark. He was no intellectual, but damn, he was awesome-looking. The sex was amazing because he was so lean. We didn’t have much in common beyond the sex, so our fling didn’t evolve, but we had a few spectacular months. Sometimes when I’m having trouble getting there with my current boyfriend, I think of Mark.”
—Julia, 24, PR associate

Role Reversal

“The most bizarre thing about dating a gorgeous guy was how it changed my attitude about sex. I was always confident, but when I started seeing Phil—a hot expat who joined our company—I was the one turning out the lights and feeling self-conscious about my body. I even gave up my favorite position: reverse cowgirl. I didn’t want him to see my ass wobbling. We didn’t last.
—Laurin, 28, operations associate

Loyal Love

“My guy is an athlete and personal trainer, and I’ve always had to tolerate women trying to pick him up. Recently, we were having dinner at a restaurant with friends, and a girl from the next table wrote her number on a napkin with a note reading, ‘She with you? If you’re single, text me.’ I was disgusted, but Joe felt worse. He always lets me know I’m his number one, which makes up for that other crap.”
—Felicity, 29, corporate relations manager

Looks Are Deceiving

“When Jon first asked me out, I wasn’t interested. He was the hot guy in our office, and he always had the pretty recruits throwing themselves at him. Long story short, my friends convinced me to go on a date, and five years later...we’re engaged. When I got to know him, he wasn’t the ‘feeling’ playboy I’d expected.”
—Lisa, 27, graphic artist

Sexy Slim Down

“When I met Dave in college, he was a big guy. But we clicked, and I didn’t care about his weight. Plus, he had a really handsome face. Then about two years into our relationship, he decided to train for a marathon, and within six months, he’d trimmed down. I loved his new body...and so did every other woman. My boyfriend went from the cute, chubby guy to a coveted catch. I’m not going to lie—I didn’t like it.

“Girls started hitting on him at parties—half the time, they didn’t even recognize that he was the ‘fat Dave’ they already knew—and suddenly I was this jealous girlfriend. Dave was the same friendly guy, except now, women wanted him. Luckily, he only had eyes for me, so I just had to accept the downside of his hot new physique...and be grateful that I had spotted him first.”
—Katie, 25, teacher

A Perfect Combo

“I met Jason after I’d gotten out of a long-term relationship, and I felt I deserved a no-strings-attached indulgence. At a bar one night, my eyes gravitated to Jason, who is the tall, dark, and handsome type. He was partying with male friends. They were getting pretty rowdy, and I thought, ‘He probably thinks he owns the place.’

“Still, he was hot, and I wasn’t searching for a soul-mate connection. I chatted with him and ended up taking him home. That was six years ago, and we’re still together. Jason is totally unaware of how attractive he is. He’s malambing, unassuming, and kengkoy. And he makes sure to tell me how pretty he thinks I am—often. I actually revel in it when he attracts female attention because I don’t feel the least bit threatened. With him I have the best of both worlds: a good-looking guy who doesn’t act like one.
—Marina, 35, web designer

Hot-Guy Habits

It seems that dudes work hard at looking good too, as evidenced by these testimonials.

“My best friend, Mike, has an amazing body. But he’s so obsessed with keeping fit that he practically only eats egg whites and grilled chicken—with nothing on it.”
—Anna, 24, paralegal

“My ex’s best asset were his brown eyes...and he knew it. To make them stand out even more, he constantly wore green shirts because someone told him the color complements them.
—Jocelyn, 26, receptionist

“Before a date—and every Friday night—I shave myself down there...including my butt. And then I put on lotion.
—John, 23, engineer

“I use a nail clipper to trim the hair on my body—arms, underarms, legs. I’m pretty lean, and it makes me look more muscular.
—TJ, 32, stock broker

I caught my boyfriend using a razor to shave his stray eyebrow hairs. He said he’s scared of tweezers!”
—Jamie, 22, banker

“I used to date this basketball player. He's mestizo, but he was always really tan. When I wondered about it, he said that he goes to the beach a lot. I found out later that he goes to a tanning salon three times a week.
—Vanessa, 24, nurse

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