1. It doubles as a nice pillow. It might not always be as immediately available as your breasts, but it's a nice place for us to rest our head at night, sometimes, for the novelty factor. Admittedly, it means we've got to contort our body into weird shapes, but still, worth it.
2. Its perfect positioning during spooning. It goes right up against our crotch. This is our favorite part of spooning. We might tell you it's because we love cuddling or being close to you. While those things aren't untrue, it's really because we get to rub our weiner on your butt.
3. The way it jiggles in a swimsuit. The butt jiggle tends to stand in the shadow of its boob-jiggle cousin, but we still love it. We love jiggly parts, and we're not sorry. Never be ashamed of your jiggle.
4. Twerking. We can't do it. The fact that we don't twerk, coupled with its hypnotic motion, is what makes it so appealing to guys.
5. The curve it gives your spine. We're super into vertebral wedging, apparently.
6. The way it goes from good to great when you put on heels. We really, really appreciate your butt in heels. The way they push it up makes our brain shut down. We know heels are tough, so thank you.
7. How your clothes hang off of it in the perfect, butt-hangy kind of way. Everyone loves jeans, but a girl butt in jeans looks way better than a guy butt in jeans. Feel free to debate me on this (even though you are wrong). See also: dresses, skirts, everything.
8. When you sit in our lap. DEAR COUPLES WHO ALWAYS SIT IN EACH OTHER'S LAPS: WE KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.