Very Real Things Most Of Us Hate About Being Single

So much bad sex. So few orgasms.

Being single can be incredibly fun and great, until you find yourself in a relationship and realize it's actually like being on a never-ending obstacle course filled with fuckboys and ghosters that you can't seem to hurdle. Being in a relationship has a ton of benefits, but maybe the biggest benefit is that it simply means you are no long single and don't have to put up with any of this nonsense anymore.

1. Worrying about why they haven't texted you back.

 Think about all the extra time you'll have when you aren't busy staring at your phone screen, willing it to light up with your crush's name for 22 hours a day. Maybe you'll learn a new language, or knit yourself a sweater, or finish a book. The possibilities are endless!

2. Not having anyone to split the bill with at dinner. 

 Seriously life is so much cheaper when you're in a relationship. Plus, you can always make your partner order the dish you almost ordered and then eat off their plate all night. Everything comes in pairs when you're in a relationship, including every single meal. Amazing!

3. Bad. Sex. 

 So much bad sex. So few orgasms.

4. Having to go to weddings alone. 

 With the right date, weddings are amazing. Free food, free booze, big dance floor, lots of people who don't know you well enough to bother you. But without a date, it's hours of single-shaming (singles tables are the rudest thing). Worse still: inviting someone you only barely know just to stave off the throngs of friends and relatives asking you where your ex is tonight. Bye.


5. That terrible, gut-wrenching feeling of having a date you weren't even excited about cancel on you. 

 You didn't even want to go out with this person that bad, and somehow, that makes being rejected at the last second even worse. Like, how dare you turn me down, I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE YOU.

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6. Getting ghosted. 

 Oh boy, love to bond with someone to the point of feeling mildly excited about the possibility of a relationship and then literally never hearing from them again. Love psychological torture!

7. People in relationships constantly reassuring you that you'll find somebody. 

 Do these people realize that constantly being told you're "such a catch" sounds super condescending and makes you feel like the exact opposite of a catch? Also, single people aren't constantly walking around begging to meet someone. It's possible to be single and not be looking for someone, and be perfectly happy with that.

8. Not having someone to grab a last minute, late-night dinner with. 

 Honestly, the best part of a relationship is having someone who is obligated to sit across a table from you while you stuff your face with food.

9. Meeting horrible dirtbags who make you feel like society is a pile of garbage. 

 Your relationship is like armor that protects you from having to put up with all the trashbag people you meet when you're out at bars, trying to meet someone. It saves you from going out to that one club where you always get groped and gives you a default excuse to throw at anyone who shamelessly hits on you in public. Miraculous.


10. Having no one to talk to when you go to a party where you only know one person. 

 Nothing is worse than being alone at a party where you don't know anyone. When you're in a relationship, you have a plus-one to every single social gathering you attend. Which means getting to opt out of awkward small talk whenever you want.

11. Trying to strike that delicate balance between talking enough online to talking too much online. 

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 Because you don't want to meet this person without knowing anything about them, but you also don't want to form this super-tight relationship via text and then have nothing to say IRL. WHY IS IT ALL SO COMPLICATED.

12. Your mom hitting you up weekly to ask why you aren't dating someone. 

 Mom, look, I know you want grandkids eventually but you really don't understand the desolate wasteland of a dating scene I'm dealing with here. It's truly awful. I'm doing my best, I swear. It's rough out there.

13. Third-wheeling. 

 The worst part about this is that all your couple friends assume they're the kind of couples that are fun to third-wheel with, but they're really not. Because a couple that's fun to third-wheel with does not exist. When you're in a relationship, you can do double dates, which can be annoying in their own special way, but are so much better than tagging along with your couple friends who keep rubbing their noses together or whatever it is couple friends do.

14. Not having someone who will come sleep in your bed with you when you're feeling lonely. 

 Sometimes it's not even about sex; you just want another warm bod in bed next to you. Sleeping with another human can be the most comforting thing.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

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