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Top 4 Questions To Avoid Asking Your Man

"Would you tell me if your friend was cheating?" is one of those things you shouldn't ask your boyfriend. Here's why.

Guys aren’t allergic to responding to questions on topics like our favorite sex position (um, all of them) or how our rock-hard abs got so damn rock hard. But before you channel Boy Abunda and pull out the magic mirror, know that certain queries guarantee an eye roll and a sigh. They’re the ones with no right answers.

This guy's lucky—he'll never have to endure such annoying questions from his girl. But for the benefit of the rest of you ladies, here are painful probes we hate to be asked, let alone reply to.

1. "What’s on your mind?"
Putting us on the spot with this one—especially after sex—is annoying. It’s like you’re trying to force us to spout some relationship epiphany. Chances are the only thing bogging down our brains are thoughts of what snacks are in the fridge. Says Rico, 27: “My ex always wanted to know what was on my mind, and nine times out of ten, it had nothing to do with her. But if I ‘fessed up the truth, she’d get all huffy and insulted. She took it to mean we weren’t on the same wavelength. Eventually, I agreed and broke up with her.”

2. "Do you think she’s hot?"
You might as well ask, “Do you think she’s hotter than me?” That’s what you’re really getting at. Decent boyfriends pay compliments at random--that’s why we think it’s lame when you fish for them conspicuously. Besides, even if we think someone else is smokin’, it doesn’t mean you’re not. But if we acknowledge that another chick is good-looking, we’re screwed. “This girl I was dating always pointed out pretty girls and asked my opinion,” says Bert, 24. “Over time, I caught on that she was seriously insecure.” News flash: There’s nothing sexier than confidence.

3. "Would you tell me if your friend were cheating?"
Rarely will we rat out a member of our own posse, even if we think he’s acting like a total ass (see Online Hunk Xian Lim’s answer to a similar question). If we tell you that our friend is a two-timer, we’re bound to be deemed guilty by association. That, or you’ll expect us to cut off the philandering friend. Dante, 31, can relate: “I confided in my girlfriend that my best friend was fooling around,” he says. “Not only did she stop speaking to him, which made it obvious that I shared, but she got mad at me for remaining friends with ‘The Tarantado.’” Male policy states to answer yes if asked this question, but never follow through on it.

4. "You find Paloma cheesy, right?"
If Paloma is cheesy, bring on the crackers. Did I say that out loud? We could just answer "Yeah, she’s heinous," but that would be lying. A better alternative: You accept the following answer and promise never to ask again. Deal? Here goes: "Men are suckers for Barbie-esque babes…as long as we don’t have to take them home to Mom." "My buddies and I go to a bar where the girls are scantily clad,” says Randy, 23. “Sure, we really ogle the chicks, but they don’t pose a threat to our girlfriends.” When it comes to relationships, we want more than a one-dimensional being.

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