For reasons I can't personally understand (feminism? a stab at male empathy? sheer happiness in watching men mildly suffer for page views?) BuzzFeed recently attached some tubing full of dyed liquid to the undercarriage of three men, and then made them play pretend like they were menstruating for a few days.
The men were instructed to wear thick-ass pads inside their tighty-whities and tend to their "periods" while allowing BuzzFeed to record their whole debacle. It's never explained in the video what the end goal for this experiment was, but all it succeeds in doing is prove, once and for all, that:
- People who don't menstruate shouldn't be allowed to talk about periods.
- Men still have no grasp on the terror that is bleeding from your sexual organ for a week out of every month and they probably never will.
At the beginning of the video, some of the men offered up their own personal hypotheses for what riches this experiment might provide. "I've never had a period before," one says, "maybe it'll make me a better man!" Another seemed excited at the firsthand opportunity to experience something so #relatable. "People who have experienced them, they always seem, like, super stressed about it, and just like, it's the end of the world," he said. "I want to understand more why, or how, it's so stressful" (emphasis my own).
LOL, all right, buddies. Here's the thing. Strapping a weird tube that occasionally spouts blood into your pants for a few days is very far from the actual experience of having a period. None of these dudes are having cramps. None of them are bloating to the point of not being able to fit in their jeans. None of them are having PMS that makes them want to rip apart everything they see. Like, I get it. These are all irreplaceable symptoms. But please, don't host a splatter paint party in your pants and call it a fucking period.
The worst thing about the video is that these dudes have zero clue about the shame and embarrassment that comes with being a woman on her period. At one point, irritated by how his menstrual cycle is fucking up his workday, one guy looks to the camera and says: "I'm at work, and I'm busy, and I'm trying to do things, and I keep having to, like, say, 'Sorry, guys, give me a second, I have to go change my pad.'"
If the men really wanted to experience the whole period shebang, they should've been banned from talking about their bleeding penis tubes in the office at all. I can't honestly remember the last time I stood up in the middle of a meeting and was like, "Hey, sorry guys, but I gotta go check my pad, BRB."And I'm even spoiled enough to work in an office that's pretty much all women.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.