When All Eyes Are On You

How do you deal with the lack of privacy, the criticism, and the nosy people who eye you from head to toe when you're dating Mr. Bigshot?

Being in a relationship that’s under the public’s watchful eye can be stressful. But, experts say that instead of focusing on their criticism, it’s better to put things into the proper perspective by looking inward. Stop yourself from getting so worked up with the unwanted attention...and try to ignore what everyone else thinks from now on. “Focus on the fact that your boyfriend loves and chose you,” says Aileen Santos, relationship coach, therapist, trainer, and love columnist for Femalenetwork.com. But, while dismissing everyone sounds like the best thing to do, it’s admittedly not as easy, since “it’s in women’s nature to get affected by what people say.” So, how do you cope with it? Decide for yourself if you can deal with the criticism, the way people compare you to other women, the constant interrogation. Asks Santos: “Is this something you can live with, maybe for the rest of your life?” Making this choice means preparing yourself for the rollercoaster ride of inevitable consequences, and keeping your wits about you at all times.

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Once you’ve decided that Mr. Bigshot is worth all the trouble, it’s time to focus your attention on yourself. Do all you can to encourage your personal growth apart from the relationship. “You have to know who you are, what you’re passionate about, what you’re meant to do in this world, and what you’d want to be known for with or without your partner,” affirms Santos. “Not only will it take focus away from what other people are saying, it’ll also build your self-respect and self-knowledge, and keep your guy enchanted by the vibrant person that you are.”

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Keeping doubts and other trust issues at bay won’t be easy, but it’s definitely doable as long as you constantly remind yourself of the reasons why you love him. “You care for the person you are with, so...do not let the harsh opinions of others cause you to question an otherwise happy and fulfilling relationship,” says Raquel Hunter, relationship expert and founder of mamashealth.com. Don’t let his larger-than-life image hinder you from seeing him as he truly is. “Just like any other human being, he would in the end rather be truly loved by one person who deeply knows him, than be adored by thousands who only have an illusion of who he is,” adds Santos.

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