It’s safe to say that you’ve probably already heard the phrase “she’s just so intimidating” spewed out of the mouths of men like word vomit, if it hasn’t already been used at least once or twice to describe you yourself. But what does it really mean when a man says the fairer, supposedly more caring, and sensitive of the sexes intimidates him?
Unless you’ve got raging biceps of steel that could crush his ballsac in one blow, it’s probably a lame excuse to belittle your awesome more-than-a-woman-ness into a one-dimensional adjective your five-year-old cousin uses to describe bullies. Of course, wit, unwavering beauty, and having a strong opinion can be daunting to the weak of will and heart, but do you really want a guy who can’t handle all that?
Here we present five of the common, misleading phrases men use to stonewall a woman that gets his boxer-briefs all in a bunch. Here’s what they’re really trying to tell you (and themselves).
He says: "She's too pretty! It's just too much to handle."
What it means: You can translate this as “I don’t have the testicles to ward off prowling douche-faces in public.” Your inherent beauty, as blinding as it really is, Cosmo Girls, shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. If you turn heads and attract unwanted admirers, then he should be proud of having a catch like you around his arms. What kind of man doesn’t want a gorgeous woman as a partner anyway? The answer: a coward. If that’s the case, he might as well stick to dating wart-faced trolls.
He says: "You know, your intelligence tends to isolate people."
What it means: So, you know, you should express yourself like a moron instead. Not. Saying things like this only means that he just can’t keep up to speed. Yes, smarts definitely are a handful for…uhm…stupid people. Don’t dim your own light bulb in an effort to make him look like the star. If you’re showboating, however, that’s a totally different story. Always remember that there’s a thin line between genius and shit-for-brains.
He says: "Stick to baking, cooking, or knitting. Women aren’t supposed to act tough and boyish."
What it means: What is this? The 1950s? Just because you can slay his ass in sports, doesn’t mean you should keep off the field. Or the court. Or whatever realm of pseudo-manliness he knows you’re better at than him. Physical insecurity permeates this statement. Gone are the days when girls couldn’t get down and dirty. So tell him to shut his trap and make his own sandwich!
He says: "You make more money than I do? Impossible!"
What it means: This speaks volumes of the fact that his salary is the measure of his manhood, which is always a bad thing. Plus, didn’t his mother ever teach him that talking money is a big turn off? If he can’t fathom the reality that your wallet is heftier than his, it’s only because his paycheck is like his penis: less-than-average, affords him some fun, but barely gets the job done.
He says: "Her overt sex appeal is gross."
What it means: So is your closed-minded approach to sexual politics, buddy. A lascivious persona can be quite off-putting to men who are so used to being in control. Play it down if you really like him, because a lion’s roar is much scarier than a kitten’s seductive purr. But if a guy is threatened by a woman’s dangerous sexuality, you can bet your whips and chains that he wouldn’t know how to satisfy her in the sack anyway.
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