Why Raw Sex Gives You A Stronger Orgasm

Some people call it rough. To us, it's insanely hot. Here's why every couple needs the kind of animalistic romp that will leave you gasping.

It turns out that single-mindedly using each other’s bodies to make yourselves feel good can bring you closer. “It’s extreme bonding because it reaffirms that you both still lust after each other,” says clinical sexologist Eric Garrison, author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex. Oh, and that laser focus you have on your bodies? It feels a-ma-zing.

Raw power

If raw sex had a motto, it would be “Just Do It”—whenever and wherever the urge strikes. “The point is to have sex because it feels good, period,” says Natasha Valdez, EdD, author of A Little Bit Kinky. “You have to let all your inhibitions fly out the window and focus on fulfilling your needs only.” Translation: When it comes to raw sex, it isn’t just okay to be selfish—it’s encouraged.

But, that actually works in everyone’s favor. By concentrating on your own pleasure, you won’t be distracted by self-conscious worries about how you’re performing. That allows you to be totally overcome by your desire, which strokes your guy’s ego and turns him on. Plus, you’ll both be able to share in the power of the moment: When you have particularly intense sex, your brain interprets it as something unusual and exciting. That, in turn, prompts the release of an especially potent cocktail of feel-good chemicals, like dopamine and oxytocin, Valdez explains.

Raw sex is also a great de-stressor. Because it’s so intense, your mind is cleared of any unrelated thoughts about money, work, or anything else for that matter. More than any other type of sex, it forces you to empty your head and be in the moment, Garrison says. And since it breaks up your routine, it keeps your relationship hot even when you’re not in bed. “Having raw sex stops things from becoming mundane and predictable and, most important, stops the two of you from taking each other for granted,” says Ava Cadell, PhD, founder of LoveologyUniversity.com.

Continue reading below ↓

Finally, couples have the capacity to have stronger orgasms with raw sex, Garrison says, because seeing your partner so turned on automatically ups your arousal, causing the big finish to be even bigger than usual. Both of your bods then release higher amounts of bonding hormones. So, you both have great Os, then feel even tighter as a couple than you did before.

[nextpage]

It's go time.

Raw sex is truly possible only when you’re overcome by desire. So that means you just have to go with it, whether you’re in your driveway after a great evening out or waking up from an especially naughty dream.

To intensify the passion even more, don’t be afraid to grab a fistful of his hair as you kiss him. Or if he’s wearing an old crappy tee, rip a hole in it. This will give him permission to get a little crazy with you, and the rush of doing something wild will also heighten your desire even more.

You don’t need to wait until you’re together to begin some raw foreplay. Send him a text like “I can’t wait to get you naked” or “I need you inside me right now” to tip him off that you want to get untamed when you see him. Or, call him and let him know, in detail, exactly what you’re dying to do. Then, zero in on him the second you’re together. Do it up against a wall or remove only absolutely necessary articles of clothing before getting down to it to make sure that nothing gets in the way of your satisfaction.

If things move to the bedroom, take over. “When you feel like you’re in complete control, it’s easier to explore new things without feeling self-conscious,” Cadell explains. “It’s very arousing for both of you, and it helps transform the sex into something especially intense.” Maybe even tie a scarf over his eyes so that you’re calling all the shots, and then let loose as much as you want—after all, whatever you do, he won’t be able to see it. But, he’ll sure as hell feel it.

Continue reading below ↓

Give him a heads-up.

Once you are together, however, Valdez recommends giving your guy advance warning before doing things you’ve never done before. “You don’t want to overstep boundaries,” Cadell says. “No matter how close you are, everybody has them.” For example, instead of just sinking your teeth into his shoulder, let him know what’s in store by licking his shoulder and saying something like “Mmm…you taste so good” and then giving him a little nibble. If he moans, you know he’s into it. Of course, it’s also important to mix raw sex with slower, more tender sex. “You need to have a good balance of both,” Cadell explains. “If you have raw sex all the time, that can become boring, too.” So, don’t try to force or plan out raw sex. Just make sure to act on it when you feel like releasing your inner animal.

Sorry, no results were found for