For some bizarre reason, a lot of us are deeply obsessed with age gaps in relationships. Whether it's the logistics we want to delve into or the sex lives, we are very curious (read: nosy). The age gap relationship narrative we're used to hearing is the one of the younger woman dating the older man. But what about the women who date much younger men? With all this chat about guys maturing way slower than us, it's fair to wonder whether an age gap like this can affect a relationship.
Here, women who dated or date much younger men explain what it's like—the highs and the lows.
- "I've only dated two guys younger than me and they both turned me off towards younger men, though I do try to remember that not all younger men are like them. They were both needy, ignored my boundaries and needs, and in general, it felt more like they were looking for a parent than a partner." [via]
- "I'm dating someone 13 years younger. It's great and there are no issues. It's only a problem if you make it one. Because we talked about kids up front and neither of us wants them for very specific reasons, it's a non-issue. As for marriage, our age difference isn't going to stop that from happening if we want to do it. I don't worry about that at this point in my life. We communicate and we do what works for us." [via]
- "I've dated younger and older men, but all of my serious relationships have been with younger guys. And by younger, I mean five years younger than me. Maybe I'm a late bloomer or something, but I tend to have more compatible lifestyles with men who are a few years younger than me." [via]
- "I tried to make it work, but the level of emotional maturity I needed from him was just not there." [via]
- "Long-term relationships with younger men were the personal best. Our social lives away from home were often the biggest issue. His friends were much younger and I found them shallow and uninteresting. I began to dislike socializing in situations where his guy friends would include their even younger dates or wives. So: at home, good. Date night, boring." [via]
- "He's far more insecure and concerned about the opinions of others, but not giving a fuck seems to come with age." [via]
- "Younger guys are just all over the place and they don't know if they really want you. I've always preferred the older men. Personally, I feel like I connect with older men better because of the things I like and my sense of humor, but there's something else." [via]
- "I prefer to date within five years of my own age, but if I've got to go with a larger gap, I prefer younger. Gen X men were just raised in a more sexist environment than younger millennial men. My experience with them is that they're demanding and don't bring much to the table." [via]
- "I briefly dated someone 10 years younger. He had a lot of emotional growing up to do and was mainly interested in regularly going to sports bars and hanging out with even younger people. We were also poorly matched in other areas. My current SO is eight years younger, but much more mature than the other guy. Sometimes it just depends on the person, not their age." [via]
- "I dated a person 10 years younger. It was fine, we had some fun, I drifted away [in the end]." [via]
- "The best FWB I ever had was 12 years younger than me. He wasn't interested in anything beyond FWB, and he was really clear about that and maintained good boundaries and never led me on, so I never expected anything. But looking back, I'm still sad he wouldn't consider a relationship with me because he was just such a great guy in every way. I really doubt anyone willing to have a relationship with me will be half as good as him. I never even fell in love with him because he just gave me nothing to fuel those kinds of feelings, but he was just objectively better than anyone else I've ever been involved with." [via]
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com/uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.