I don’t know about you, but I personally think parties for one are the best. Not only can you order pineapple on your pizza without worrying about your “friends” side-eyeing you, but you also have access to your personal restroom whenever you want—and everyone knows no line, no problem.
But honestly, when you take that party for one to the bedroom (or shower, or bath, or living room couch, literally wherever), that’s when the real fun begins. And even though it’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of—especially considering nearly 96 percent of people masturbate at least once a month, according to Univa—you may be wondering how normal (or not) your masturbating habits are.
Well, *In Taylor Swift Voice* to calm you down, here are all the questions you may ponder while masturbating—and real women’s answers to them all. But remember: Everyone is different and what might take a woman 10 minutes could take you twice as long. It’s okay to be different, and any form of masturbating (no matter how long, in what position, and what accessories you have) is neither right nor wrong.
How many times per week do you masturbate?
- “I’d say about five times a week.” —Shelby, 18
- “Depends on the week and how stressed I am because it’s usually a huge stress relief for me. I’d say at least one to two times a week.” —Riley, 24
- “About four to five times a week.” —Jen, 24
- “Typically, six to eight times.” —Sarah, 26
- “Around three to four times.” —Kaylea, 24
- “My guess is 14 times.” —Myrna, 29
- “This can vary greatly depending on factors such as stress, sleep, time of the month etc., but normally between three to six times per week. Sometimes I can go a whole week without masturbating, while other weeks it will be at least once every day.” —Lilly, 27
How long is a typical masturbating session for you?
- “It can vary between 30 minutes to two hours.” —Shelby, 18
- “Usually like five to 10 minutes.” —Riley, 24
- “Around 15 to 20 minutes.” —Jen, 24
- “Ten to 15 minutes.” —Sarah, 26
- “I’d guess 20 to 30 minutes.” —Kaylea, 24
- “Five minutes.” —Myrna, 29
- “Again, this can vary greatly depending on the situation and time available. Normally between five to 15 minutes.” —Lilly, 27
Do you use any sort of toy when you’re doin’ the deed?
- “Nope! I don’t own any toys, unfortunately.” —Shelby, 18
- “I don’t always use a toy because sometimes your fingers can stimulate the most pleasure, but bullet vibrators are bomb for quick orgasms, which is usually what I want.” —Riley, 24
- “Sometimes! It depends on if I have time to properly clean it after. But I have a pink rabbit that is clutch!” —Jen, 24
- “No, I haven’t thought about buying a vibrator.” —Sarah, 26
- “Sometimes I use a vibrator.” —Kaylea, 24
- “I use whichever vibrator is closest to me and whichever one has a full battery. If not, I use my Hitachi wand when I want an intense, full-body orgasm.” —Myrna, 29
- “Yes! I’ve found that I love it because it’s super quiet and completely waterproof so I can use it in my shower without my housemates hearing. Definitely a plus in a shared house! It’s also much less buzzy than lots of other toys, which I’ve found can lead to longer, stronger orgasms.” —Lilly, 27
And while we’re on the subject...about how many toys do you own?
- “One at the moment, but I usually have more, I just end up tossing out my sex toys if I bought them with my boyfriend at the time and we break up.” —Riley, 24
- “At the moment, the rabbit is the only one I have. But I have owned several toys throughout the years. At most, I’ve had 4 at a time.” —Jen, 24
- “Three!” —Kaylea, 24
- “Seven, not including whips, handcuffs, and chains. My collection is ever-growing.” —Myrna, 29
- “Twelve.” —Lilly, 29
At what time of day do you most often touch yo’self?
- “Usually at night, around 11 p.m.” —Shelby, 18
- “At night, or whenever I feel really freakin’ stressed.” —Riley, 24 ‘
- “At night before bed, usually to help relax at the end of the day and try to sleep.”
- “The morning.” —Sarah, 26
- “In the morning.” —Kaylea, 24
- “Once when I wake up, and once when I am about to go to sleep.” —Myrna, 29
Where and in what position do you most often masturbate?
- “Definitely in my room! Privacy! And I find it easier on my back.” —Shelby, 18
- “In the shower or bath, normally sitting down.” —Riley, 24
- “In my bed and I alternate between on my back and on my stomach depending on how tired I am.” —Jen, 24
- “My bed, while lying on my back.” —Sarah, 26
- “In my bed while lying down.” —Kaylea, 24
- “In my bed on my stomach.” —Myrna, 29
- “In bed or in the shower as I’m lying down on my back.” —Lilly, 27
Do you orgasm every time?
- “Yessss.” —Shelby, 18
- “No, not every time.” —Riley, 24
- “Nine out of 10 times, yes!” —Jen, 24
- “Just about!” —Sarah, 26
- “No.” —Kaylea, 26
- “Yes. Although while clitoral stimulation is a guaranteed O, it’s not my preferred orgasm.” —Myrna, 29
- “Yes, mostly.” —Lilly, 27
Do you masturbate more or less often when you’re in a relationship?
- “Less often.” —Anette, 24
- “Probably about the same. Maybe slightly less.” —Bailey, 28
- “Less, since what would be masturbating can be sex sometimes.” —Carina, 28
- “About the same.” —Desi, 25
What feels the best when you get down? Clitoral stimulation, G-spot stimulation, or anus stimulation? Or a mixture?
- “Fun fact: I can actually O from clitoral stimulation.” —Shelby, 18
- “Honestly, I haven’t explored many things other than the clitoral stimulation with a bullet because it’s just so reliable.” —Riley, 24
- “Clitoral stimulation for sure! Occasionally, G-spot stimulation is preferable.”
- “Clitoral.” —Sarah, 26
- “G-spot stimulation.” —Kaylea, 26
- “Clitoral and G-spot,” —Myrna, 29
- “A mix. I always need some sort of clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm though. I only recently started to experiment with different methods and sensations. I used to think that every orgasm was pretty much the same and had a set-out formula for how to get there. I’ve been discovering different kinds of orgasms [by] experimenting with different parts of my body and from using different toys.” —Lilly, 27
Any parting words?
- “It’s definitely a healthy stress relief and a non-drug sleeping pill!” —Jen, 24
- “I find that I enjoy masturbating in the shower. And also, for me, porn can be nice but it’s honestly thinking of the guy I’m with or someone I have a crush on that gets me going. Playing out a potential real-life scenario in my head is way hotter.” —Sarah, 26
- “I was never told that it was normal until I was in college. I felt so dirty and shameful doing it when I was younger. Now I know that I was definitely not the only one masturbating at a younger age. I wish I knew then what I know now, and that’s to own it and it helps figure out what you like.” —Kaylea, 24
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.