Although being single is slowly being normalized, we still seem to default to being in a relationship as the norm. Many of us who have been through horrible breakups and toxic relationships might look at someone who hasn't experienced being in a relationship as lucky. But for those who have always been single and never had a relationship, what does it really feel like? Is it loads of free time to do stuff you enjoy or can it be lonely?
Someone posted on Reddit asking women who have never dated/been in a relationship, "How did you overcome being dissatisfied with being single?" And the answers were so varied and interesting.
- "For me, I've dated but never been in a relationship, and if I'm being completely honest, I'd rather be single than settle. I want someone I can laugh and banter with and so far, I haven't found that. I'll continue to look for it and maybe that's what stops me from being dissatisfied, the fact that I'll keep looking and hoping that the right person is out there for me." [via]
- "I've been on dates, but never entered a relationship with someone. I actually had a mini internal freak out over it last night, but it comes in waves. Work keeps me busy enough." [via]
- "I just put the effort of what would be going into my dissatisfaction to other areas of my life. So I focus more on school, work, and my current friends, and putting my best efforts into those instead of thinking how hopelessly single I am. Also, I don't just want to settle for something. I'd much rather wait for the right person and know I have something good that'll last, rather than something I just went, 'Fine, I guess this'll do.'" [via]
- "I don't think I have overcome being dissatisfied with being single. I want a relationship. I'd rather be single than be in a bad relationship, but I don't want to be single forever. I want a relationship. I use dating apps, volunteer, go out with friends, I do singles' events, etc. It just hasn't happened yet and I'm sad about that. But since I've always been single, that's just the norm to me. I don't default to a relationship as 'normal,' and I know that I can do anything I want as a single person—travel, go to concerts, go out to eat. But now that I've done it all alone, I'm eager to find someone to share it with." [via]
- "I’m not dissatisfied, I like being single. I get tired of people very easily, so in order not to hurt them, I better stay this way." [via]
- "I didn’t plan it nor do I think I have, but as I was born in a Indian family marriage/relationships were a topic never forgotten. I just grew such a hatred towards the words marriage and relationships, I just put my attention on my future with myself not with someone else. There's nothing wrong with being single, but many have a dissatisfaction with it because they are lonely. Even now being single is portrayed as a bad thing. When in reality many women can’t deal with someone else's crap while dealing with their own. For me, being single isn’t a dissatisfaction at all." [via]
- "I had been dissatisfied for a long time as I felt 'behind' all of my friends. I felt abnormal. I had a hard time dealing with my emotions and loneliness. I had to cope with unrequited love. Now, I am actually at peace with it as I looked back and I realised I wasn't ready for a relationship and I had other priorities to focus on. I have to work on myself and know me better before I let anyone in.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com/uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.