Healthy relationships require many things: laughter, respect, and communication to name a few. But boundaries are also really important. Setting boundaries in a relationship means your SO knows what you need, expect, and how to navigate that to make sure you're both happy in your partnership. This new thread found some interesting responses when people were asked, "What boundaries are absolutely essential to you in a intimate relationship?" Here's what people said:
1. "You can pee in front of each other at any time, but shitting is reserved for extreme emergency situations only." [via]
2. "When I need me time, give me that time." [via]
3. "I like having some privacy every so often. That and I don't want someone going through my phone, don't make me feel bad because I want to keep a few things to myself." [via]
4. "Not playing games. If you say nothing is wrong, you don't want anything, you don't care, etc., expect it to be taken at face value. I am not a mind reader and will totally screw it up if I try." [via]
5. "Respect for privacy. It's OK to just check in before posting online something about us or something I shared with you. Just checking in shows respect, consideration and gives you the chance to explain to the other person why you are doing." [via]
6. "I personally need direct communication." [via]
7. "This might seem like it should go without saying, but physical abuse of any kind. Major red flags to watch for are if your SO: slaps, shoves, violently grabs, punches, chokes, or throws things outside previously discussed "intimate" settings. I have always put that on the table immediately, saying I respect them enough to not resort to these actions and I expect the same respect.
"Some people like it rough in the bedroom, which is fine and as long as it's discussed ahead of time, I'm mostly happy to oblige. But none of it can extend into daily life. I have head some people say, 'That's just our relationship, its volatile and passionate'. No, it's abusive and toxic, and it impacts both sides of the relationship, for all genders. If you find yourself in this situation, find help and get out immediately." [via]
8. "I like sharing everything when I'm in love, but I need time to be alone and do my own thing, too. It's not personal, I just like being alone." [via]
9. "Account passwords, bank PINs, etc stay private. Yes, exceptions can be made if they are properly discussed and understood. But there should be absolutely no expectation that these things be shared as a matter of routine." [via]
10. "Some personal space and privacy. I have no interest in going through your private space or electronics and I expect the same of mine. I have no intentions of keeping any big secrets, but I find it healthy to have some space to myself in in all senses. With the long-term partner I lived with for a while, we both had our own desk + hobby/activity space to have some projects or whatever going, and that worked out very comfortably." [via]
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com/uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.