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7 Women Who Really Didn't Like Their Partners At First

'Binasted ko siya—three times to be exact.'
PHOTO: Nick Onken

Sometimes, you meet a great man and BAM!—you just know, right then and there, that you want him to father your unborn children. Other times, you realize it much, much later—after you’ve both grown up, after he’s moved on to someone else, or after you’ve dumped him a minimum of three times.

Seven women tell us how they initially felt about their current partners—from mild disinterest to full-on distaste—and what happened down the line to make them change their minds. Go read their stories; they might just encourage you to give that guy who’s been crushing on you since kindergarten a chance.


The girl who married the grade school bully

“My husband and I were classmates in nursery and then in grades four to six. While he tells me that I made a lasting impression on him then because he thought I was cute, my own impression of him was not that great.

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Back in fourth grade, our teacher asked the class who among us hadn’t traveled outside of our hometown. This was for our homework where we had to bring a photo from one of our travels and write a description of our experience. Before anybody could raise his or her hand, I remember my husband snigger that those who hadn’t yet were ‘promdi.’ I thought that was such a bully move.

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I had yet to take a trip out of town myself, so I picked a photo where I was dressed for the Santacruzan parade in our subdivision and asked my grandmother to help me write a description saying that the event had taken place in Iloilo—all to spare myself from embarrassment in class.

Years later when we were already adults, my husband and I met again at a bar in our hometown. He had turned out to be a really nice guy—not a bully at all. We started dating shortly thereafter.

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A few years into our relationship, I told him the story about the fourth grade homework. He adamantly denied that he was the one who had said the ‘promdi’ comment.

We dated for seven years before we tied the knot in 2015. He still insists he wasn’t the one who said that comment.” –Jenika, 32


The girl who didn’t know what she had ‘til he was gone

“I didn’t like my husband at first. He’s the type who’s friends with everyone and maingay—not the ‘ideal guy’ I was looking for. And when I met him, I wasn’t even open to dating then. He was persistent and consistent in pursuing me, but binasted ko siya—three times to be exact. In all that time, I was kind enough to go on dates with him just to be friendly and so we could get to know each other, but I wasn’t really interested. So despite all the dates we had, basted pa rin siya.

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After the third time I rejected him, he stopped pursuing me and I heard that he had moved on and was pursuing somebody else. That’s when I missed him and I actually realized that he’s a great guy: He’s a family man, has a great relationship with the Lord, has a Christ-centered life, and is active in the ministry. So upon my realization, I made the first move by texting him ‘Kamusta ka na?’ and the rest is history.

We dated for eight years before we got married. We’ve now been married almost three years.” –Moriel, 29


The girl who swore she would never be in an LDR

“Byron is the best friend of my close gay friend. Since he’s based in Qatar, we had never met personally when he began to pursue me. He only knew about me through my social media accounts and through descriptions my friend gave.

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Here was the problem: AYOKO NG LDR. A lot of the people I know who’ve been in LDRs have failed to keep their relationships going. Plus, I myself didn’t want to be courted. I had chosen to stay single for two years by then and was at the peak of my career; I felt that having a relationship would cause me nothing but distraction.

Instead of giving up, he decided to amp up his efforts. Every week, he’d arrange these little surprises, such as having flowers with sweet messages delivered to me—even though I hate surprises.

One day, I just woke up looking forward to his surprises. That’s when I realized I was already falling for him.

That courtship went on for three months until I finally said yes to being his girl. We got engaged a few months ago, and will get married later this year!” –Gerlie, 27


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The girl who friend-zoned the guy

“Kongee and I were among four friends in high school who were always hanging out bound by a mutual love for mixtapes. It’s not that I didn’t like him at all the first time I met him in 1996; I just never saw myself to be with him romantically. Everything was peachy until he brought up the L word and ruined it. So, in today’s words, I ‘friend-zoned’ him. It broke his heart.

We parted ways when I left for college, but because our two other friends wanted us to be in touch with each other, we started talking and writing letters to each other again. (It took a while for us to get our own mobile phones, even if it was 2000 already!)

It was clear that we missed each other, but it was only after college when we finally got together. Since then, our relationship has been like a crazy soap opera. It’s crazy because he and I moved a lot and we were in and out of several relationships, including our own.

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Fast-forward 20 years later, we’re living in one city, and I’m married to the guy.” –Dooeey, 36


The girl who did worse than friend-zone the guy—she kuya-zoned him

“We met in college. We were from the same college org and we attended the same church. To me, he looked like a nerd, he dressed weird, and he was definitely not my type. But I looked up to him as an older brother because he was—and still is—a gentleman.

I was in London when he sent me a message saying that he liked me and wanted to pursue me. I turned him down outright, but gently. He laid down his intention to court me three times and through the three different countries I lived in, but I said no each time. I told my friends that he will never be the man for me because to me, he’s just a kuya.

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After over three years of his courting me, I was swept away by the persistent pursuit and sweet gestures he showed me despite all of my rejection. He made me feel that I was the most beautiful girl in the world and that I was worthy of being pursued. I finally said yes to being his girlfriend in South Korea.

We have now been happily married for three years and are parents to a beautiful 18-month-old princess.” –Seneca, 31


The girl who fell thanks to music and margaritas

“He was a drummer for a band where my best friend was the vocalist. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight for me, but it was for him. (Yabang.) He started bugging my friend to set us up, so they’d arrange all these ‘accidental meetings’—we’d go to a college event together and all of a sudden, ‘Ay andito si Drummer Boy!’

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I didn’t really like him because I thought he was too old, he laughed too loudly, and looked a bit geeky. I always thought my type was the tall, dark, and mysterious guy.

One time when I’d made plans with my friends to watch another local band, they arranged for Drummer Boy to be our designated driver. Then on the morning of the gig, my friends texted to say they ‘couldn’t go,’ and that I should just go with Drummer Boy. How convenient, right? I seriously considered canceling but the call to fangirl was too great to ignore, so we went, just the two of us.

We had fun, I had two margaritas, and by the end of the night, we were making out on my couch.

Fourteen years later, we’re married, with one kid, another on the way, and two cats.” –Camyl, 34


The girl who ended up courting the guy (you go, girl!)

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“When this guy at the office started making his ligaw moves, I wasn’t too thrilled. In fact, I was mortified! I didn’t like drawing attention to myself, and here he was leaving chocolates on my desk.

He really wasn’t my type, but he was such a sweet guy that I wanted to give him a chance. We went out a few times, and I started to feel a real connection. But I also realized that maybe I was just exploiting his interest since I also had an ex at the office whom at the time I was still hung up on.

I felt like the right thing to do would be to officially turn him down. He was crushed.

A while later, I saw him post on Facebook about being at an overlooking spot in Antipolo, and I just knew he was with a girl there. I ended up crying because I realized what an epic loss this guy was in my life.

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So I made a decision to court him. I treated him to lunch, asked him out, texted him every once in a while. Maybe he thought I just wanted to be friends, but I discovered he still had feelings for me.

We’ve been together more than five years since.” –Ria, 32

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