1. He uses his phone for Clash of Clan.
He never replies to your texts or Viber messages and doesn’t pick up your calls, incessant as you may be. Hey, all that ignoring is because he’s legit busy...playing Clash of Clans! Don’t worry, you guys can sweet talk soon enough—his mobile Internet shouldn’t last too long because…
2. He’s still on prepaid.
Tell him to grow up like the rest of humankind and get a postpaid line. If your high school sister can afford one, he shouldn’t have a problem. That way he won’t keep pestering you in the midday to "share-a-load!"
3. He spends his salary on big boy toys.
Date nights, where you thought he was treating, turn into a KKB outing since he recently blew his cash on the latest X-Men collectible. Maybe you should consider buying him all those freaking toys for your annivs and his birthdays. That way he’ll have dough to spend for your ridiculously expensive bagaholic syndrome.
4. He’d rather fiddle with a controller than with your boobies.
You’re already butt-naked and seducing him for a randy roll in the sack, and yet, his eyes are glued to the TV monitor. You try to win him with a coy “hey babe” and “wanna do some naughty things with me?" With his game-face intact and his fingers rapidly abusing the controller, he shushes you. Game over.
5. He panders for attention.
Every time he has a new pair of kicks or some pricey gadget that’s hot in the market, he can’t help but show it off to people who secretly want to punch him in the face. Okay, so he’s on trend. But maturity, just like class, does not have a price tag.
6. His mom still buys his pants.
And the rest of his juvenile wardrobe. But that’s only because…
7. He’s too close to his mom.
If the first person he runs to when he faces a challenge is his momma, girl, you can toss in the towel as you’re not the number one woman in his life. Of course, mommies are important, but if he insists on metaphorically suckling at her breasts at any age beyond 3, then you're better off finding someone who doesn't have his mom on speed dial.
8. He whines when he doesn’t get what he wants.
If he’s still throwing tantrums in his twenties, it's best not to feed his urge to wail like a milk-less infant. If you insist on tolerating this kind of behavior, why not change his diaper while you’re at it?
9. He still has a yaya.
And a driver. And he has his meals delivered to his room. And he can’t fold his own clothes. Okay, maybe your boyfriend is just a rich-ass slimeball.
10. He gets giddy at the sight of lady-parts.
Boobs and vaginas make him blush and giggle like a schoolgirl–rightfully so. They’re capable of reducing even the brawniest men into awkward children. This is a fact.
11. He wants you to cuddle him after sex.
Just as soon as you guys come (assuming you climaxed), he curls up into a ball, the classic fetal position being his post-coitus security blanket. And just as you turn to grab your iPhone for your routine before-I-go-to-bed IG scroll, he demands a hug. No a cuddle. Just so he knows mommy...erm...you love him.
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