Because a dude's wallet is usually stuffed tighter than an Army Navy burrito with double meat, and the only way he will part with his precious receipt collection is if you give him a new wallet so he can start the collecting process all over again. Such is the dude cycle.
Because there comes a time when even the most dudely of dudes cannot fit everything he needs into his wallet (or pockets), and when that happens, there is only one dude-appropriate option and it sure as hell isn't a tote bag. Tote bag, ha! You might as well just give him a purse and start calling him Becky.
3. Duffle Bag
Because if a dude has to carry a lot of stuff, like, on a trip, he's going to carry it, not wheel it around behind him. Because carrying shit is manly and a dude isn't a dude if he's not a man! [Grunt, ball scratch, belch.]
Because dudes don't wear jewelry, but they do wear watches. (OK, they also wear cuff links when they are trying to be "fancy." Dude fancy, not Iggy Azalea fancy.)
5. Plaid Shirt
Because a dude's gotta wear a shirt and plaid is the only masculine print.
Because nothing makes a dude feel like a real OG (that's Original Gangster, FYI) like listening to Pitbull on his Beats.
7. Top-Shelf Booze
Because dudes know that a top-shelf life requires top-shelf booze, particularly bourbon and scotch—the manly, brown liquors. Dudes love that shit. They love it so much that they display the bottles prominently in their homes as dude art.
Because dudes love to win and you can't win if you don't play the game. That's dude philosophy, right there.
9. Drinking Games
Because even if a dude loses, he still wins (because he's drunk).
10. Sports Stuff
Because a lot of dudes used to play sports and they are still totally into them. Like, they would still totally play, but they gotta make that money, bro. Dollar dollar bills, y'all!
11. Book About Making Money
12. Mac Gadgets
Because dudes know that Macs don't get as many viruses as PCs, which means they can look at porn and illegally download movies follow blogs and stuff without having to worry so much.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.