Relationships
I Quietly Gave Up On Dating Years Ago—Then Celine Song's 'Materialists' Reminded Me Why I Shouldn't
Published on Aug 30, 2025
At 26, I've already ridden the wild rollercoaster of adulting—from rookie corporate slave moments to chasing that ever-elusive "financially literate" life, all while trying to keep things upbeat. But not in the dating department.
Maybe it's just my way of avoiding it—telling myself that dating, while it seems fun and maybe even a little exciting, just isn't at the top of my to-do list right now. I tell myself, there's still so much I need to figure out in life.
But the truth? I think I quietly gave up on dating after a heartbreak that hit harder than I ever expected. And now… I'm scared. I overcomplicate things. I carry insecurities I can't shake—that I'm not the prettiest girl on the block, that I'm too fat, that maybe I'm just not enough. That maybe, I'm not cut out for love.
These questions in my mind remain unanswered as time passes by. I got even more scared by the day—got older, gained weight, lost the confidence to put myself out there. And in a world that treats dating prospects like merchandise, being me seems hopeless right now.
But a five-minute conversation with Past Lives and Materialists creator Celine Song challenged that exact thought in my mind. It was a brief chat, but it made sense of how dating can feel so high-stakes when it shouldn't be.
Editor's note: Major spoilers about Materialists ahead!
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What's dating like in 2025?
I get it—we all have our preferences. I'm guilty of that, too. After a girls' night out where my best friend casually revealed she's dating someone new from Bumble, I went home and finally took a hard look at my own Bumble profile. (Yes, I have one. It's just been collecting digital dust.)
There it was: the usual checklist—age, height, gender, religion, work, and a handful of carefully chosen photos for men to "notice" me. I swiped a little. Got a couple of matches. And then… what?
For a brief moment, I felt a surge of willingness, maybe even vulnerability. A whisper of, Could I be ready to keep seeing people again? But just as quickly, another thought followed: Or should I just let it all go, again?
I was the very opposite of Zoë Winters' character in Materialists, Sophie. She was a career woman, nearly in her 40s, longing for someone to settle down with. She was ready. She knew what she wanted.
She hired Lucy (Dakota Johnson) to be her matchmaker, who'll sign her up on dates with various men that "check her boxes." But still, she can't find the love of her life. Things didn't turn out as they should have when Lucy set her up with a man who eventually assaulted and traumatized her.
It's a guy who checked her boxes—the perfect match, as Lucy assumed at first. In the end, Sophie spirals and tells Lucy, in a scene that's been engraved in my mind now, "I just want to be loved," Sophie said.
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Photo: Instagram/materialists
"When it comes to matchmaking, why do you need all those things? Height, weight, income, age–why do you need those things? I can tell you it's because this other word that's in the film is 'valuable'," Celine told Cosmopolitan Philippines.
Celine goes on about how the heart of her film is pointing out how people should not be regarded as merchandise in the dating scene, that love shouldn't be about ticking boxes or landing the best match on paper. Love is just love.
She added, "Everybody wants to feel valuable, that it's become so hard not to see ourselves as merchandise. I mean, the most important line in the film is when Sophie says, 'I'm not merchandise. I'm a person.'"
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Photo: Instagram/a24
For the filmmaker, too many people are caught up in the résumé, not the romance. These days, it’s all about credentials over connection, and somewhere along the way, we've forgotten what dating is really about: getting to know someone for who they are, not what they have.
"If you're standing there with somebody who's really rich and tall and good-looking, it makes you feel valuable. [...] But tell me, do they love you? Do you love them? You can say, 'I love their salary. I love their height.' But what about the person? That person's not an object. And I think that to me, that's the great mystery. That is a thing that I think we need to be so cautious of falling into," Celine stated.
Materialists is a powerful reality check in a world obsessed with dating apps, filtered profiles, and checklists galore. She illustrated, "I think love deserves to be talked about so seriously because it's something that we all have to do. And it's so rare when it happens, right? That's what's hard about it. True love is so hard to come by."
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Photo: Instagram/iamzoewinters
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So, how does it end?
With all of that, what happens now? Well, the film ends with Sophie slowly easing her way back into the dating pool—still believing in love, and carrying with her experiences she won't be forgetting anytime soon. Although she's not the main character in the film, her story captivated me on a different level. Truly, stories like Sophie's deserve to be told in a delicate way, just as Celine did in Materialists.
As for leading lady Lucy, I've already touched on how she went for the guy she believed could give her the kind of love she's been searching for. Perhaps, in Celine's words, it's the relationship that made Lucy feel valuable.
And that's how Materialists spoke to me. In a way, I wish to have the willingness and confidence Sophie has in herself. That dignity she has, knowing that she's a person who deserves to be loved and not just some merchandise to be dated? I want that. I want the kind of self-worth that doesn't ask for permission.
I know it starts within me. So, slowly but surely, I'm gonna learn to see myself beyond the job title, beyond the mirror. I want to put myself out there again, not afraid of falling short or being disappointed.
Because dating shouldn't feel like a performance. It should feel like being me—and knowing that's more than enough. So, I hope when true love comes by, I won't be someone trying to fit a guy's checklist, but someone just ready to be loved.
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