Here's Why Venus Retrograde SZN Is Not(!) The Time To Start Anything New In Your Love Life

When reading my friend's birth chart last week, I found myself saying something that’s now tough to stop thinking about: “Do not, I repeat, do not start anything new romantically right now,” I said to her. Why? Because Venus, the planet of love, is going retrograde.

Starting October 3, Venus Retrograde stays put until November 13 (which is Friday the 13th to make it creepier). If you're feeling the urge to lock something down, define the relationship, or make it official, this is your sign to sit on your hands until then.

Why, you ask? Well, first of all, astrologically, retrogrades are review periods. Every 18 months or so, Venus goes retrograde for about 40 days, and every single time, love and relationships starts glitching. Whatever the planet governs—in Venus’s case, love and pleasure—gets dragged under a microscope, and everything in that lane slows down and gets a little weird. In general, the golden rule of any retrograde: don't start new things; look back instead.

On top of that, we have somehow, collectively, decided to hand Venus a job she never applied for. Venus is way more associated with play, flirtation, and interest than she is with anything built to last. Venusian themes are totally ideal within a love partnership—she keeps things fun, flirty, and alive—but Venus is not the planet you build a serious relationship on top of.

Science backs this up. Venus is a rocky planet with a hot mantle. She is literally built for the fun, hot hookup—not the long haul. And she's 4.6 billion years old, which means her idea of what feels good might be primitive or ancient. She's not exactly working with the most advanced, complex understanding of love. She knows hot. She knows fun. She does not care about your five-year plan or that one traumatic childhood event.

And this is exactly why starting a new romantic commitment right now is a trap. Anything you begin under Venus Retrograde is built on self-indulgent romanticism—the fantasy, the chemistry, the vibe—instead of anything real. You're not falling for the person. You're falling for how they make you feel, and feelings during a retrograde are unreliable narrators.

This is when the ex texts "hey" from a number you thought you deleted. When the situationship suddenly wants to "talk." When a relationship that felt fine last month suddenly feels shaky—not because it's broken, but because the retrograde is asking you to actually look at it.

This Venus Retrograde hits different too because it’s in Scorpio. And Scorpio is… a lot. Scorpio rules sex, secrets, obsession, jealousy, power, and the deep emotional stuff most people would rather leave in the basement. It's also Venus's detriment—meaning Venus is deeply uncomfortable here. So expect for things to get intense. Desire gets obsessive. Jealousy shows up uninvited. Secrets surface. Power dynamics in relationships get exposed. That magnetic, can't-stop-thinking-about-them pull? That's Scorpio Venus Retrograde doing its thing, and it is not the same as compatibility.

The move isn't to suppress all of it. It's to observe it. Notice what comes up—the jealousy, the longing, the sudden urge to text someone from 2019—and ask what it's actually about. Retrogrades hand you information. Your only job is to not act on it impulsively.

If the person is right for you, they'll still be right on November 14. Let the retrograde do its review. Flirt, play, have fun—that's literally what Venus is for. Just don't sign the lease on your heart until Venus is moving direct again. Your future self will thank you.

This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.