Music festival season is finally here, which means it’s time to start stocking up sunblock, cheap sunglasses, and all the fringed, lace-accented, neon clothing you can buy. But no matter how much you love going to festivals, there are a few problems you just can’t avoid, no matter how hard you try.
1. Actually getting to the thing.
Because music festivals always seem to fall on the days when the traffic is at its WORST.
2. Choosing an outfit that is cute enough to get photographed but not so precious you’ll be upset if you have to throw it in the garbage.
Take it from someone who once had to throw out her favorite straw hat because it got someone else’s poop on it in a porta-potty—if you like it that much, don’t bring it. You never know what kind of shenanigans, mud pits, and beer accidents you’re going to get into at a festival, so unless you’ve got endless money for replacements, leave your fancy sunglasses at home and wear the cheap ones you bought on the street instead.
3. Bizarre tan lines.
No matter how diligent you are about sunblock application, you’re not going to make it out of this thing without at least one or two wristband imprints. Lord help you if you went the geometric strappy crop top route.
I don’t think I need to go into detail here.
5. What to do with merchandise after you buy it.
You had to have that band's ridiculously expensive T-shirt, but now you also have to find a way to stuff it in the tiniest bag you own, which you brought because “it's going to make moving around easier.” Congratulations. You played yourself.
6. Competing time slots and/or other stage FOMO.
You can plan out your schedule down to the last bathroom break, but the chances that you won’t at some point have to decide between two of your faves are slim to none. And once you’re settled in at your tent of choice, you might hear strains of music wafting over from another stage and wonder if you made the right choice. The only solution is to call Hermione Granger and ask if you can borrow her Time-Turner.
7. Purchasing water or standing in the refill line for 800 years.
Kind festival organizers understand the importance of hydration and so usually offer a water filling station for your reusable bottle that’s both ~green~ and cost-effective, but because everybody else spent thousands of pesos on a festival ticket and wants to save as much money as possible, the lines for these stations are usually longer than the ones for real, live alcohol.
8. Food, in general.
Ain't nobody got time to wait for an hour for a sad, overpriced burger.
9. Harmless drunk strangers evangelizing about their favorite act.
Festivals are by nature full of drunk people, and some of these drunk people really want to talk to you. Sometimes those drunk people are aggressive and weird, but other times they’re genuinely friendly and just want to tell you how much they love Kaskade. It’s these people who are the hardest to rid yourself of, because you don’t want to be rude when they’re just trying to be some inebriated version of nice. Promise you’ll check out Kaskade but then say you have to go meet your friends on the other side of the park right now. Works every time!
10. Preserving your battery life while Snapchatting everything.
Not to mention the fact that all those people in one place makes getting service a nightmare, so you’ll be wasting precious charge just trying to send a text that says, “No, we’re over by the other toilets. The green ones.” Don’t worry, it’ll all be on Instagram by the time you get home.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.