A week after Mac Miller passed away at 26-years-old, Ariana Grande opened up to her followers on Instagram. On Friday, Grande posted a video of her and Miller laughing at the dinner table in a dimly lit room. She wrote:
"i adored you from the day i met you when i was nineteen and i always will. i can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. i really can’t wrap my head around it. we talked about this. so many times. i’m so mad, i’m so sad i don’t know what to do. you were my dearest friend. for so long. above anything else. i’m so sorry i couldn’t fix or take your pain away. i really wanted to. the kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. i hope you’re okay now. rest."
Ariana and Mac had been friends for five years and dated for two, eventually calling it quits in May 2018. In a July 2018 interview, Mac had nothing but good things to say about Grande. He said, "It's all positive energy. I am happy for her and [the fact that she's] moving forward with her life, just as I'm sure she is with me."
Earlier this week, Ariana's brother also posted a moving tribute to Mac and wrote: "I am beyond heartbroken over Malcolm's [Miller's first name] death. He was a good friend and was wonderful to my sister. He was the reason I went to the rehabilitation center where I was detoxed safely from all of the drugs alcohol and medications I was taking, when I couldn’t imagine living without them."
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.