Dina Bonnevie Recalls How She Caught Her Ex-Husband Cheating On Her

On extramarital affairs, she says, 'Puwede ka magpatawad. Pero pag paulit-ulit, katangahan na 'yon.'
PHOTO: Instagram/dinabonnevie

Actress  Dina Bonnevie, 57, admits that one of the toughest challenges she has gone through was finding out that her significant other was being unfaithful.

She refused to name which of her two ex-husbands had an extra-marital affair. 

Dina is now happily married to Ilocos Sur First District Representative Deogracias Victor "DV" Savellano.

"Nangyari na sa akin 'yon in the past. Sana naman hindi na maulit," she says.

"Yung hindi mo sinasadyang hulihin. Pero tawag nang tawag.

"Biglang, 'Oh my gosh! Tama ba yung nakita ko?'

"Kaya nga sabi ko, kung talagang mahuhuli, mahuhuli at mahuhuli mo even if you don't try." 

She says she's the type who loves completely, which is why she still found it in her heart to forgive the man who betrayed her.

She decided to end the relationship after the man kept his womanizing ways.

Referring to a famous line from a movie of iconic Filipino actor Fernando Poe, Jr., "Kumbaga sa salita ni FPJ, kapag puno na ang salop! Hahaha!

"'Di ba, hanggang kailan ang tama na? Hanggang kailan ang okay na? Hanggang saan ang naibigay ko na ang lahat?

"Sa akin kasi, puwede ka magpatawad. Pero 'pag paulit-ulit, katangahan na 'yon.

"Maaari din na mahalin mo ang isang tao, pero hindi mo babalikan para lang ma-realize niya kung ano yung pagkakamali niya at para maging mabuti siyang tao.

"Alam mo yung tough love? Alam ko mahal kita, pero hindi kita tutulungan para ma-realize mo kung anong dapat mo baguhin sa sarili mo."

Dina says she believes it is the man's choice whether or not he will have an affair.

"Hindi ako naniniwala na may naaagaw na lalaki kung hindi magpapaagaw.

"In other words, siguro ang lalaki nawawala lang sa buhay mo. Ang isang pag-ibig nawawala sa buhay natin dahil nakakahanap ng inaakala nilang mas masaya.

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"At miyentras naagaw sila, mas masaya ka ba nung nakalipat ka sa kabilang bakod? Mas naging masaya ka ba?

"Minsan feeling nila naging masaya sila, only to realize na, 'Hindi, mas gusto ko bumalik sa dating bakod.'

"Kasi, 'di ba, the grass is always greener on the other side. You always want what's not yours. You always want what the others have. 

"Until you realize na, 'I was happy na pala with what I have before.'

"Ganun tayo, e. Walang kakuntentuhan," she told PEP.ph in an interview after the media launch of the GMA-7 primetime series Cain At Abel on November 13.

Self-worth and woman's instinct

Dina says her painful experience has taught her to value herself more.

She says, "Kung ang kapalit nun mawawalan ng respeto sa sarili, hindi na pagmamahal 'yon.

"How can you love someone when you don't have that for yourself? You can only love someone if you love yourself too.

"You can only respect someone if you have respect for yourself too.

"'Pag wala kang respeto sa sarili mo, wala kang pagmamahal sa sarili mo, hindi mo kaya magmahal."

Dina also says her instinct is stronger now, thanks to that experience.

"Sa tingin ko, tumalas na tenga ko.

"Dati kasi hindi, e. Parang, never ako naghihinala. Parang mahina yung radar ko, mahina yung tenga ko.

"Pero dahil siguro sa mga pinagdaanan ko, matalas na yung radar ko ngayon.

"Konting ano pa lang, whoops!" 

She says she's more aware now and can determine whether a man is sincere or if he is keeping any secrets.

"Baliktad nga, e. Kapag sobrang bait ng asawa mo na tawag nang tawag sa 'yo, mag-isip ka na. Hahaha!

"Kasi baka sinisigurado niya lang na hindi kayo magkikita.

"Like, sabi ng isang babae sa akin, 'Alam mo, ang bait ng asawa ko. Tawag nang tawag sa akin every hour.'

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"Sabi ko, 'Baka sinisigurado lang niya na hindi kayo magkikita. Kaya tinatanong kung nasaan ka para for sure hindi siya dun pupunta.'"

Asked if she isn't afraid to take a chance on love again, Dina replied, "I think, for as long as you love yourself, as long as you respect yourself, you will be capable of loving others.

"Sabi nga sa akin ng isang pastor, 'When you begin to love yourself and enjoy your own company, that's when the right person comes along.

"'Pero kung halimbawa, you can't even enjoy your own company? How can other people enjoy yours?

"'If you're alright being alone, spending the day with yourself, that means to say you're ready for other people to love you too.'

"Makes sense."

She says she didn't rush the healing process after her two failed marriages. 

"When I stop thinking na, 'Uy, kuhaan mo naman ako ng date. Hanapan mo naman ako.'

"When you stop looking, and you're okay with being yourself, it comes along.

"Kasi out of the fullness of your heart, you have something to share. 

"Hindi yung you sell yourself so short na, 'Bahala na. Kahit sino na lang, kasi desperate na ako. Last trip na 'to." 

Happily married

Dina has been married to Congressman DV for six years now.

Asked how she is as a wife, Dina says there are no rules in love.

"Sa akin, you know your responsibility. 

"Kasi, 'di ba, may ibang babae nagbabasa ng book of rules, 'Oh, I should end the date first.' May ganyang stuff.

"I think you go with your heart." 

She says the most important thing is to stay true to yourself.

"If you feel happy and you want to appreciate him, appreciate him.

"If you feel like you wanna be alone today, then be alone.

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"If you feel like you wanna express yourself, okay, go ahead.

"Kumbaga, may boundary ka sa sarili mo.

"Everything you do is within respecting yourself.

"Everything you do is within loving yourself."

. It has been translated from Filipino to English by SmartParenting.com.ph.

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