Bad news: Chris Hemsworth is married which means he will never love you. Good news: His wife model/actress/producer Elsa Pataky is extremely cool so you don't need to be too bitter about it.
You probably know 41-year-old Elsa from the Fast and the Furious franchise, not to mention Snakes on a Plane, but there's so much more to learn.
She's from Spain and fights with Chris in Spanish to annoy him.
Elsa was born in Madrid to a biochemist dad and a publicist mom, and has been in a ton of Spanish movies and TV shows. Naturally, she's fluent in Spanish (and English, Romanian, Italian, Portuguese, and French!), and argues with Chris in her native language to troll him.
"When I hear the Spanish directed at me, it's usually unfortunate, controversial, aggressive situations," he told Ellen. "So I'm just thinking, 'What is she saying right now?' and 'What’s my comeback to this?' When we're fighting, basically, which is never! If she gets angry enough she'll drop the English façade."
Again, she has a solid film and modeling career.
Elsa's appeared in tons of Spanish productions, not to mention some majorly mainstream international movies. Let's all sit back and enjoy the trailer for Fast and Furious 7, shall we?
She secretly kissed Chris in Thor.
Elsa stood in for Natalie Portman during the final kissing scene in Thor thanks to a scheduling conflict. Natalie's actually the one who broke the news, telling NY Daily News, "He was working in Hong Kong and I couldn't get there because I was working on my own film. So they put his wife in my wig and costume, that's why it was so passionate."
Watch the kiss below!
She used to date Adrien Brody and he casually bought her a castle.
Elsa dated actor Adrien Brody back in 2006, and he went ahead and bought her a 19th century mini castle (fine, it's technically an "estate") for her 31st birthday. "When I saw the castle, I asked Adrien, 'Is this ours?' she told Hello! in a cover interview. "He said, "Yes—welcome home."
Side-note: The couple were extremely into wearing hats during their time together:
She's in a new Netflix show. ABOUT MERMAIDS!
Elsa is starring on 's very first Australian series Tidelands, and the reason she didn't hit up the Avengers premiere with Chris is because production just started in Queensland. Also, this show is a supernatural crime drama that appears to be about MERMAIDS, so consider us invested.
She and Chris Hemsworth got married three months after meeting.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.