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10 Reasons I Won't Lose Weight For My Wedding

I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and not recognize myself.

1. I don't want to be a starving lunatic on my wedding day.
If I don't eat before my wedding, I might go nuts and start feasting on the first thing I see on the big day—be it the flowers or one of my guests. I'll do it. Don't test me. (Counter point: I'm not crazy about my future brother-in-law.)

2. It takes brain power to plan a wedding.
How am I supposed to keep all the events, invitations, and mason jars straight if I'm not constantly snacking? I have a bag of almonds sewn into my sweatpants and an emergency chocolate bar in my bun because if I don't, I might just dissolve into a puddle of crazy and never come back.

3. I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and not recognize myself. 
I'm gonna take a hard pass on having my wedding photos be a constant reminder of an attainable but unrealistic size. I want to look back and think "Damn, my butt looks amazing in that dress. What a hottie!" and then have my kids go "OMG STOP IT, MOM." and then make out with my husband in front of them while they pretend to vomit. That's my God given right!

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4. Cheesy-but-true alert: A wedding is a celebration of love.
Starting with loving myself, just as I am.

5. I don't want to buy into all that traditional wedding garbage.
Don't get me wrong, I love a lot of traditional wedding garbage and I think one of the best things is being able to pick and choose which things we want to focus on. I want boutonnieres but I don't want to take Soul Cycle classes three times a day.

5. I want to eat all the food at all the tastings.
I am not going to not try all the possible cake options in the world. No way. No how. I must eat all the cake. This is non-negotiable.

6. I don't want to be even more stressed out.
Weddings aren't exactly a weekend at the spa and trying to diet when I have 10,000 other things to do is less than ideal. I can't measure out my protein intake when I'm worried about tita Menchie picking a fight with tito Raul over who gets to take home the centerpieces. I cannot.

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7. I don't want to be a bridezilla.
Disclaimer: I think the whole bridezilla thing is bullshit (planning a weddings is very stressful, especially for the person who does the majority of the planning, which is usually the woman! So maybe cut them some slack and knock it off with the bridezilla b.s.?) but if anything is gonna turn me into a bridezilla, it's being hungry. Withhold my snacks when I'm under duress and may god have mercy on your soul because I'm coming at you like a freight train. Toot toot, mother truckers.

8. My dress size isn't the most important thing about my wedding.
Here's the important things about my wedding in order: 1. my man, 2. my family and friends, 3. delicious food, 4. delicious booze, 5. excellent music, 6. eating all the cake, 7. gorgeous photos, 8. meaningful toasts... 48. the color of the shoes my aunt is wearing... 63. knowing the middle name of my best friend from college's new boyfriend... 373. my dress size.

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9. Rocking my flabby arms might inspire someone else to do the same.
There aren't that many representations of fat brides out there and I want my pictures to help other ladies know they don't have to lose weight to look gorgeous on their wedding day.

10. It's the beginning of my life with my new husband and I don't want to start out like I'm not good enough for him.
He loves me just as I am so I'm gonna use the wedding as my opportunity to get onboard with that idea, too. 


This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors. 


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