Sometimes I get all hot and bothered at the thought of how much easier my everyday life would be if I didn't have to combat all the double standards that come along with being a woman in 2016. Life would be so much less stressful. Here are 14 everyday things women wish they didn't have to worry about, but do, because life is unfair.
1. Looking like you're dropping it low and being seen as sexual every time you bend over to pick something up.
Would personally love to live in a world where I can bend down pick things up with reckless abandon, without wondering if a man nearby is going to mistake the way I grab a pen off the floor for some weird, 1950s secretary flirt move.
2. Whether or not your shirt is "too boob-y" for a casual run to the grocery store or Starbucks.
Cleavage is fun but realizing the barista's been staring at your chest the entire time you were waiting for your coffee is not.
3. Making sure your tampons and napkins are hidden away in the deepest, darkest compartments of your purse so no one will see them.
It's 2016 and we're still hiding CLEAN, UNUSED tampons/napkins away like they're filthy.
4. How the person who just yelled, "Hi miss!" at you on the sidewalk will react if you scream at him to leave you alone, thanks.
Think about being able to pop off to all the idiots who tell you to "Hi miss!" when you're pissed off in public, without worrying about how they might react violently if you do so.
5. Getting "too bulky" from going to spinning too much, or lifting too much weight at the gym, or doing whatever form of exercise you like.
The weird rule that muscles are just for men is so dumb. Like, being strong is fun, and trying to strike the unreachable workout balance of strong, but not so strong that you look bulky, is like an impossible math equation I have no interest in solving.
6. If liking Taylor Swift or Kanye West's music makes you a bad feminist/not a feminist at all.
Let's please put an end to the "are feminists allowed to like ______" thing. Please. I'm begging you. Wanting equal rights isn't like having a food allergy or something. You can be a feminist and like literally whatever you want. IT'S FINE.
7. Coming across as bitchy or rude every time you assert yourself in the office or in class.
As Beyoncé would say, "I'm not bossy, I'm the boss."
8. Getting hooted and hollered at every time you choose to work out in just a sports bra, because it's hot AF in the summer and sweaty T-shirts are so uncomfortable.
Working out alongside a shirtless man who's 500 times less uncomfortable than you, unhindered by a shirt, is incredibly unfair, and sports bras are more conservative than most bathing suits, anyway.
9. Getting fired if you don't treat your job like it's the most important and greatest thing in the world and like nothing exists outside of it.
Imagine how much more free time you'd have if you didn't have to overachieve at work every day just to maintain some sense of job security?
10. Whether or not your nipples look pointy in your backless dress, because it's just too strappy to allow for a bra.
I would wear backless dresses literally every day of spring and summer if I didn't have to worry about the sexist double standards that accompany free-boobing it.
11. Scheduling enough time before a date to remove all the hair from your body, just in case sex might happen later.
The worst thing about this, actually, is if you have more than one date in a week and have to schedule your around the time it takes your poor little ingrown hairs to recover and the time it takes for your stubbly hair to look unruly and scary. What if you could just...not. At all. Ever.
12. Not having an orgasm.
*Mic drop.* Bye, haters.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.